Episode 1 Transcription- Josiah

spk_1:   0:03
life is hard. One thing that encourages me greatly is hearing stories of how God is at work in our lives and through our lives. We each have a story, and that story is like a letter. Second, Corinthians 33 cyst. And you show that you’re a letter from Christ delivered by us written not with things but with the spirit of the living God. This podcast, titled Letters From Home, is seeking to bring audio letters of encouragement from heaven store stuff to yours when you get a hand written letter. Sometimes there’s this exciting part at the bottom a post strip, Every podcast will have a P s with some extras about our guests. Now let’s hear some stories. And now for the first episode of letters from home sending encouragement to your doorstep by capturing the heartbeat of God’s people. One story at a time. Just I,

spk_2:   1:02
uh hello. Thank you so much for being willing to share your story today on the first episode of this podcast.

spk_1:   1:11
Oh, yeah.

spk_2:   1:13
So excited. Our beloved, the firstborn son with three older sisters. It’s a blessing to have you here today and be willing to share your story when Dad and I think of you, son, we just think of what a blessing you are to us. You’re a faithful son, a faithful brother. I know you’ve had such an impact on all of your siblings lives. Things you hear about for your roommate. Tell us a little bit about yourself and what you’re up to these days. Yeah, I

spk_0:   1:41
just graduated UC San Diego after four years, Had a great time with friends, and we road tripped up here to Seattle where I’m here now kind of spending the summer. And in two weeks, I’m gonna be spending time in Israel with my dad, which I’m really looking forward to. And in the fall, I’m going to be interning with the campus ministry that’s been at my college called crew.

spk_2:   2:01
Some looking at your life now and all the great things. It’s really hard to imagine the intense trial that you well, we went through just 2.5 years ago that your health was hit with a hammer. That 45 days of misdiagnosed, life altering illness, all the hospitals that you stayed in away from home, away from your family and at the worst point you were drug to the point of not being able to speak kind of a word of the state stuck in a mental institution in San Diego that was so difficult. And clearly this ended well and we’ll hear more about that in a minute. How about we go back to the week before you got sick? It was December 31st 2015. You had just come home. You just finished a graduate show the Cherry Orchard Van. Whole family had come down to see Gyu. It was an amazing show. You’re doing great in school. Get to meet all your friends and roommates. And things were going so well. And you were so tired, though from that. And then you went up to Alaska to help Havel a who was trying to graduate from college with a newborn pay Be.

spk_0:   3:07
Yeah, but we can have two week helping her with classes a bit. Helping take care of Shiloh as well.

spk_2:   3:12
Yeah, you had a great time with her and then came back here and you had just maybe 45 days with the family before going back for your second semester. And we’ll get to the story soon. It was such a great week with you, son. You got together. Feature your brothers to see how they’re doing, taking them out for coffee, reading the Scriptures with them. We have the best time. And then on New Year’s Eve, as was our tradition, we sat around the living room and Dad opened the word. Assured her family constitution in Romans Chapter 12. And we looked at the year 2015 and each family member shared how good God is and all the great things. And then we prayed for the next year and you were so excited. Going back to San Diego for some great prayer requests felt fully armed. And I sat there at that night thinking, Wow, my college student could be so doing so many other things. I mean, here you are sitting Halftime for Fear floats with the family, watching Ryan Seacrest, New Year’s inner gamer. It

spk_0:   4:08
was fun. Trade it for the

spk_2:   4:11
good times. And who would know after that Blessed week what God had in store for you the next day, January 1st, 2000 and 16 you went back to San Diego and we waved you off to the police for send off at the door. Yeah, I think that week you started getting a rash on your side.

spk_0:   4:29
So then I went to the plan and got home, and I had just been coming off like you said a great spirit time with you guys and with a villa. And I’ve been watching really great sermons Frances Chan sermons and Paul washer and a couple other ones that I love. And I just remember thinking God has a great quarter for me this next year. And in fact I was not going to do a play that quarter because I want to spend time. I want to spend more time with my friends and my my Christian friends as well. Yeah, so I was really excited spiritually and going into the quarter. So the first day, January 1st I hear back from the doctor that I had shingles and it didn’t really mean that much to me at the time. I looked it up, and apparently it’s like this disease that that air this virus that a lot of men and women get when they’re older. So around 60 years old and I was 20 at the time. So I’m thinking, great. I have this old guy’s thing going and my hips are probably start hurting. And so I was looking up a couple of symptoms of it, and it’s really just a rash that spreads around, and it affects your nervous system as well. It holds over for two months or so. Then it’s gone. I started taking the medicine as soon as I figured out it was shingles. That night was Sunday night, right before school started between the medications and something that I didn’t know it was going on, I could not sleep. It was before the first day of school. I was a little anxious about it, and I was awake the entire night that next day I go to my first classes and I’m a little tired, obviously, cause I didn’t sleep at all right, A sleepless night. And then the next night came around and I didn’t sleep again. And I called you guys actually around one or two in the morning. And I remember Yeah, and I remember asking you to read me salt or something to help me fall asleep and to help calm my mind. So for the next week or so as this was happening slowly, the things that I had really taken for granted started chipping away our God kind of sort of chipping away at those things like good sleep, eating well and at the right time, drinking water, spending time with friends, taking care of myself and other people started disappearing a little bit

spk_2:   6:36
as the insomnia kicked in. More and more, we thought it was the insomnia. You were kept taking the medicine. Yes, we’re wondering if it was an allergic reaction to the medication, plus insomnia building on top of each other. And I think with all of that you had a harder and harder time communicating on the phone, your face timing. And you were so tired you were just having trouble putting sentences together.

spk_0:   7:02
Yeah, so within that first week, because of not getting 2 to 3 nights of sleep in a row, I could barely put a sentence together. And I remember actually going to my classes. I could not remember where my glasses were. So one of my friends, Keegan, spent part

spk_2:   7:21
of that day remember where your classes? That’s crazy

spk_0:   7:24
right now. And he spent that day with me a little bit and walk to me to my classes and I I said, Where’s my class again? He’s like, It’s center hall in 1 51 0 that’s right, center. But what’s the class

spk_2:   7:36
again? And I think at that point you and we were both wondering there’s maybe something more going on here and you were going to try and find

spk_0:   7:44
a doctor. So well, I actually missed a couple of work shifts in between that time. I called in sick because I wasn’t feeling well. I was trying to do everything that I committed to that week, and every time I would show up, I would be vacant. I’d be emotionless. I couldn’t talk to people like I thought I could before, and I was just awkward and it made me more anxious. And then I would go back home and think, How can I do this?

spk_2:   8:07
When was the part where you were getting paranoid? You were. I remember walking you through on the phone. You said I need to find a doctor. And I said, You know what? Yeah, why don’t you find a doctor? And you were so confused at that point from. I thought for lack of sleep and allergies that you couldn’t. Yeah, behind the doctor. And I was trying to stay with you on the phone the whole time. Yeah. Remember?

spk_0:   8:35
Yeah, you were saying on the phone with me graciously is a loving mom for, like, an hour plus And I’m walking around the campus trying to find a hospital cause I couldn’t think. And I have the 1st 1 I thought of Oh, there’s a va hospital. Yeah, area. So I went into the hospital and, of course, here I am in a VA hospital. Now I know is a veterans hospital, and there’s people all around who are going through PTSD and who are kind of jumping. So I’m trying to get in this line, and all of these people have different war related issues, and I’m clearly in the wrong hospital. And that’s kind of how bad it was that

spk_2:   9:07
you were so confused you didn’t even know where you were on the campus and you couldn’t think clearly. And I was a little concerned that you weren’t even gonna be able to make it back to your dorm room because you just were so disoriented. Yeah, but then you said But, Mom, I’ve got this. I think I can figure this out. And so the next day, I think you went to work.

spk_0:   9:26
Yeah, I went to work in one of my friends. Alex actually took me to the hospital the next day and the night of getting sleeping pills, helpless, sleeping. And so I ended up going to a couple more things. But I kept on getting really stressed out anxious, and I go to something in an afterword out over, think it and think everything went wrong. I can’t be in social circles, so I just kind of retreated back again to my room. And so I told you a lot in that,

spk_2:   9:51
and I think some paranoia said and to remember you you were worried about if the landlord was after you or just there were some simple odd thoughts that were coming in, and you still weren’t getting much sleep. You got a couple are sleep here and there, but it had been like almost a week, and you just weren’t making any sense on the phone. And communication is such a strong point for you said it was really eyes. Your moments, of course, wanted you Teoh get to a doctor. And so Yeah, I guess they did the sleeping pills.

spk_0:   10:24
Yeah, they did that. But you’re right with the

spk_1:   10:27
terrorist stressed about

spk_2:   10:28
it. You were so nervous about taking those pills. You were sure bad was in it.

spk_0:   10:32
Yeah, I waas and that paranoia kind of set in after three or four days of not sleeping and worried about the medication, Of course. I’m telling people because they’re like, what’s what’s wrong? Decide? You seem out of it. Oh, it’s this medication drug thing I’m taking And when, of course, when I tell that to people in their wondering, why is he taking a medication? But I couldn’t explain why. Right, cause then I was worried that they were going to think differently about me. So I remember staying up late at night out of my room, I would sleep outside in the living room, in the cold, shivering with one little sheet because I thought somebody had placed, like a recording device or something in my room. I also remember thinking that the janitor that would clean our rooms and it was outside in the halls when I would hear their walkie talkies that would go off. I thought they were keeping tabs on me. And so I was trying to be as hidden as possible. Was

spk_2:   11:23
so crazy hearing you talk about it. And like you said all at the same time, we were trying to I remember Dad. I face timing you with your head on the pillow, singing you hymns and just just trying to help comfort you and help you get to sleep at night because I was thinking the sleep would just help you so much. And And I remember you saying, Mom, Dad, I can you read some 23 again? I like when you read that to me. He remember?

spk_0:   11:48
Yeah, I think I was actually crying a lot of those times while trying to sleep. And you guys were on the phone and I remember just thinking how loving you guys were. And actually remember this psalm that I found as I was there in bed and it felt like my situation in some 31. It says, Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am in distress. My eyes wasted from grief, my soul and my body also for my life is spent with sorrow and my years with sighing My strength fails because of my iniquity and my bones waste away I have been for gotten like one who is dead I’ve become like a broken vessel for I hear the whispering of many terror on every side as they scheme together against me as they plot to take my life And of course, this is a really emotional intense psalm. Yeah, But at that time, when I’m thinking through all this paranoid thoughts and I saw this, I was thinking These are my thoughts right here. And so in some way understood what David was going through a little bit. So that was Yeah, that was pretty intense. Week and 1/2 or so, But that was before I ended up going.

spk_2:   12:50
I think it was the day before, cause at that point you still felt like you could handle it. And this has been like a week and 1/2 in a school, and you’ve hardly made any classes. And I’m wondering, what is he going to make it? A school? And you were forgetting to even eat. At that point, I would say Hey, son, did you have breakfast yet? And you’d say, I don’t know. Did I have breakfast? And I’d say we’re just facetime like, hey, want we go into the kitchen. Let’s see if something in the cupboard and I remember to day Amazon in use, um, some tea, some calming,

spk_0:   13:19
relaxing the yogis is still have

spk_2:   13:22
yo g t is just to help you get the basics down to try and help you asleep. Because you were still feeling at that point which I was trying to respect as your parent, that you could handle it. You’ve got this You We just thought it was your body trying to resolve dealing with the medication and all that, right? Yeah. And I think it was the next day when you went into work, and I think your boss thought something was really wrong with you.

spk_0:   13:46
Yes. So I was at work, and I remember thinking everybody else was acting strangely. I remember thinking everybody else is looking at me weird, and they’re all they’ll look tired and they all look like they don’t want to be here. But in fact, I was the one who was acting strangely, but I didn’t know Because I’m in my head thinking that everything else is against me, right? And my boss took me aside and said, society, you know, I love I love it here, but I think you might need Teoh go home for today. And I was defiant. I would not go home because that was my job and I was gonna be faithful to my job, said no, you need to go home and take care of whatever. And finally, after half a Knauer of trying to get me to go home, he ended up calling the ambulance to take me to a hospital.

spk_2:   14:30
And I remember you saying later, son, that he had asked a couple of co workers just signed do drugs. Because what were you 19 or 20? And people that owe 20 year old? He’s probably doing drugs because you were just so off that one of your friends said this is a kid who would never do drugs. I can vouch for his character, and he’s like, Oh, wow, something must be wrong. So we called 911.

spk_0:   14:53
Yeah, ambulance game at that point just to give you a taste of what this schizophrenic thoughts were like I thought I was about to die As the ambulance came in, they kind of stormed into this back office where I was with my boss opened the door, they put that little thing that strikes your pulse on the finger. And I thought they were in, electrocute me with that little pulse and I would not leave and I would try to stay in the office and they were pulling me out. So they ended up pulling me out of work on the stretcher while everybody’s working. And here I am, just on the stretcher being taken up this ambulance and my boss comes with me in the ambulance, takes me to the hospital. How did it seeing when you first got to the hospital and all that? What was that whole process like in your state for me? I was so confusing at the time. I got to the hospital and I was very hypersensitive to everything with encephalitis. The brain infection that I didn’t know I had It was activating different parts of my brain at different times. When I came to the hospital, I was very hypersensitive of smell and people’s looks every doctor I looked at. I could see every little alteration on their face. And I could smell pure out everywhere. And there was pure l. There was It was really strong. And in places where it wasn’t even like they’re necessarily it just smell like pure O and an onion everywhere it was, Yeah, I was kind of weird. Weird. I didn’t I was just confused what to do with it. I thought what it waas was a kind of age, a druggie unit where they were going to kill people who were using drugs. So it sounds crazy, I know, but that’s where my head west. And so one of the ladies, When the doctors came and questioned me as I was on the stretcher, she she asked me, you know, a bunch of questions and I answered over and over and over. And here I am, thinking that they’re trying to convict me, but asking these questions so I don’t want to be clear with these questions because I didn’t want to share my personal information. And she asked me, Have you been using any drugs or medication? I really didn’t know how to answer. I remember. And cherry orchard I had smoked during the show. It was a stage cigarette. And here I am thinking maybe they laced that with something. Maybe the medication I’m using has something else in it. I couldn’t trust anybody. I thought somebody was feeding me some type of drug, and that’s why was acting that way so it didn’t answer. I said, Oh, I said, maybe maybe I’ve been using drugs. I don’t know. And so she put that s that’s probably using.

spk_2:   17:08
I remember herbal tea and you’re like, yeah, asking like, Well, maybe I had some pot. I don’t know what my parents gave me some herbs, and so we got the phone call. We have Joe Saic listener here. Do you know him and dad know where? Yes, that’s That’s our son and son. I was really, frankly so relieved because remember, like, a couple days before you had tried to find a doctor by yourself and we were faced timing. And you’re like, there’s the cafe, Mom. And I was afraid you weren’t even gonna make it out of the apartment to try and find it was this crazy order. I was so thankful that you made it into a hospital to get care. Yeah, down. A dad and I were glad you were there, but then the doctors are like is at question us. And once they realized that you were a healthy, happy, strong of faith, well adjusted boy who’s doing well in school, they became very alarmed and started reading you. They put you in like an intense high alert situation where think everyone was in, like has map suits. And you have, like,

spk_0:   18:18
a security guard on the outside of your door. Like it was this intense section of the hospital, right? Yeah. You know, that time is really blurry for me because I was going in and out of sleep. I was catching up on probably three or four days of not sleeping. And I just remember waking up on random points of time with new people asking questions of who I waas. Why was there what pain level I’m in And yeah, I remember being kind of put into a room, and I really thought that it was a prison there to keep me on guard. There was even somebody outside of the door because I was super dis active. I wanted Teoh. I wanted to get out of the hospital of every chance I could get. I asked.

spk_2:   19:00
The doctor said, Well, can I talk to my son? And you’re saying you felt like you didn’t know what was going on her. Are you in jail where they is, like there’s a lock on the door like you were just so your mind was so unaltered state because of the infection and encephalitis, and they had no clue what it was. So they started doing all kinds of testing, Dad, they were just kind of sitting glued to the phone, praying, trusting God. And we got a call after call from like a psychologist from this person and that person, and they’re like running test every kind of test. And when they did all your blood work found that nothing was wrong with you. You’re perfectly healthy. They were a lot more worried about what it could possibly be. And I believe they started giving you a bunch of drugs to help calm you because he had that paranoia set in and you were just like you said, like tryingto, but they kept kind of poke you with needles and You just were, like, overwhelmed One night. I remember very clearly. It was a lady who was a psychologist. And she said at this point, we’re calling this what? Your son has a psychotic break, but we’re going to do one more test. We’re gonna do a spinal tap, so we need your permission for that. Dad and I were like, Yes, while they took you off to go do that. I just remember thinking, Lord, he’s such a precious son. He went back to serve you in college. And if you have him walking through mental illness, we’re going to trust you for that because you’ve always been with us in your walk with us. But we got a call about an hour or so later, and they said we got the results back from the spinal tap. We’re changing the diagnosis from mental to unknown, which means we’re gonna have to do further studies. Which was kind of a relief at that point, Dad, he stopped work. He just decided just to go down the next morning. Do you remember when Dad came?

spk_0:   20:49
I really didn’t recognize him. Actually, at first it was so weird to me that my dad was in this place and because everybody I had seen in that place I had thought of as an enemy or if somebody was trying to hurt me, I thought my dad was part of them and so that they were trying to disguise says my dad to get me to open up more. So I did not trust him at first. And I thought, you know, maybe they’ve changed their face a little bit to make him a look like my dad. After a bit, he kind of convinced me that he was my dad. He took off the has Matt suit. That he had to put on a breathing mask as well was like just science. It’s me too, Dad, how are you doing it? And I just I knew it was him at that point, and I was so happy to see him. I hugged him. He’s like, I’m not supposed to take this off because because you’re guarded in this quarantine places that you don’t infect anybody else just in case that you if you have West Nile or something like that, so just just know that I’m here. So I was really encouraging to,

spk_2:   21:49
I think with Dad there you started relaxing a bit more. And so they started lowering the medication

spk_0:   21:56
with the spinal tap, which I was very against doing. And they had to hold me down with two big guys so that I would stay still. And then they injected me with something that I wouldn’t wouldn’t be moving a lot. They found through the spinal tap that there was a bunch of white blood cells in my spinal column which, which meant that there was an infection going on. That s so that’s while that’s how they found after doing a few tests that it was encephalitis, right? And so from that point on, they gave me a diagnosis and started treating me with an antiviral at the hospital. The lower the medication after a bit, and they let me go free with a note that I had encephalitis and I need to take a break for a little bit. And then I could possibly come back to work school.

spk_2:   22:40
So then Dad took you to your place, and you have the great fellas there in the apartment. Do you remember how that was with dad there? And I guess you guys had a lot of visitors and played music.

spk_0:   22:51
Yeah, we watched a Seahawks game. We played guitar with my sister, who came down from Vista with her husband and we walked around campus and I ended up seeing a lot of my friends just walking around. And because because Dad was there, he gave me the courage to really go up and talk to them. I felt like they wouldn’t want to talk to me, or I had acted so strangely that I was kind of isolated from them. But all of them were super open, and they remembered me for who I waas

spk_2:   23:16
because your mind wasn’t full. It was still there was still the inflammation, but yes, still had some. Your mind was playing a lot of tricks on you at that point.

spk_0:   23:23
Definitely. Waas still so a lot of the delusions that I had in the hospital were still happening, but it was good that he was there and it was really helpful, and he walked me to all my teachers, and I told them that even though I missed a few quizzes and a few assignments that I was trying to get back into into shape, to come back to school, talking to my dean of students, and she was really encouraging, Totally understood, she said. Check back in with me If you want to drop, drop a couple more classes, you’re taking a full course load, and you should probably scale back a bit. But in my head, I’m thinking I’m not going to scale back and I go all the way. I’m gonna keep my four classes. I’m gonna show people that I can function well. And so instead of dropping things and taking it easier, I went full bore and everything go all the way back into work. Sweet. Let’s start go into classes again. They are all of my homework assignments cause I want to prove that it was good and

spk_2:   24:14
that you were normal. Yeah, and I think that that’s Dad had flown back home at that point. He had been there an entire week, and then he flew back home and we were checking in with you. We had been talking with you every day, multiple times at that point, pulled. I remember you pulled an all nighter and you said, Mom, I’m just gonna stay up all night. I’m going to do great on this test. And then things started going super sideways the next day again.

spk_0:   24:37
Yep. I had a great prayer community time with crew, friends and one of them. Her name is Nicole. She prayed for me for five minutes because I said I was just going through a rough time. Remember that being so great? But as I finished the group and talking, I just want to talk and talk. Doctor realized was 10 p.m. And I hadn’t started studying for my midterm was the next morning, and so I stayed up all night, and that next day I was exhausted, and I’ve never felt in confident for a test. Test taking is I feel like one of the reasons why I got to UCSD and one of the strength that I have. And I remember sitting in the test and I could not think of any of the answers. It was like a foreign language. I felt everybody else finishing faster than I Waas, and I was writing down things that didn’t make sense to me. Turn that test in by probably did really poorly, but I never checked the results. And I remember just feeling so worried about that test and thinking I’m not back to normal. I’ve never done that with the test. I’ve never stayed up all night like this. My friends are asking me about how I’m doing. And it was so overwhelming that I went back into my room and isolated myself again. And then Saturday, I had a really chill day and did nothing. And Sunday I ended up going to church, and I was really out of it at that point in a lot of the delusions that I had had before. We’re back with really a vengeance. And it was related T drug usage. I thought I was I thought somebody was lacing me with drugs that people were trying out to get me things like that. You

spk_1:   26:07
have had a

spk_2:   26:07
fever and you started feeling ill, which was a relapse of the encephalitis, which is something that, uh, we’ll hear more about a little bit. But where the diet doctors completely missed that. So they misdiagnosed you again. So yeah. So, back to where you where you went. You had a crazy week

spk_0:   26:29
school. It was getting worse and worse than your church. So I went to church that morning and I was convinced that somebody was again lacing me drugs or something. And so I felt I had to confess that to some of the people who were there, the volunteers who after the church service, you know, hey, come up to our volunteers. If you need prayer, you need somebody to talk to. So as the first time I’ve ever done, I stood up, walked to the front and talking to this guy we talked for like, half an hour, and I was really guilt ridden and thinking that I had done some terrible thing and he started assuming that I was using drugs. And so he said, We should get you to a rehab clinic. We should figure this out. And then on my way out, my friends were really worried about me, and Keegan thought that I was in the exact same place. Dear Keegan, before he realized that I looked very similar as I did two weeks ago. And so he thought, Yes, I need to go back to the hospital. Gets worse before it

spk_2:   27:25
gets better. Yeah, a lot worse, But do you remember going to the hospital that time.

spk_0:   27:29
Yeah, I wouldn’t go in. I did not want to go in the hospital last time. It was awful. And I felt the freedom of not being there. And Kian was in the parking lot of the hospital saying, Go in. You know, we’re

spk_2:   27:41
going to call you got you called me.

spk_0:   27:42
And that’s when I talked with you guys.

spk_2:   27:45
Yep. And Dad night were there and we said, You know what? Yeah. Why don’t you go home? So Keegan took you home, Dad flew down and you went right into the hospital before even the break a day. Do you remember what it was like going in the hospital? Second time?

spk_0:   27:58
Yeah, I remember feeling really overwhelmed and my thoughts were not really clicking together and my dad coming down again. It felt like an odd deja vu in my head that I was going back to the same place before, only getting worse. And this time I thought I was not gonna come back out of the hospital. I was thinking I was gonna have to stay there, and that had my one chance of freedom trying at school and that I had failed. And so here I was getting test after test having doctor after doctor come through to test me again.

spk_2:   28:31
Yeah, And at that point in that sad son, hard to hear that as your mama. But I remember from dad’s point of view, you know, they they didn’t know what was going on with you. So they were, like, you said, doing test after test, and because you were so confused, you don’t know what use was happening. You were a little bit agitated to, and so they were giving you all kinds of drugs. And I remember this one drug dad was there. There was a whole team of doctors. You had every specialist that the hospital had coming in running tests, and they gave you this one drug held all, which was awful. And Dad said he remembers the reaction that you had was just not normal. Your body stiffened up and I was shaking. And it was just a very awful odd thing. And he was really upset that they had given you that medicine at that point. And it slowed your body down so much they couldn’t even form a sentence. Do you remember that time at all Or were you

spk_0:   29:34
so out of it? What I remember from that time was again waking up odd times, waking up all of a sudden having another doctor. They’re asking more and more questions and then going back to sleep and waking up with monitors on my school to test my brain activity, waking up again and being this pod doing a brain scam and a couple of other things. So I was just in a whirlwind of activity, had no idea what was going on. And the last thing I wanted to do was answer any questions that doctors had. No, I remember my brain just couldn’t focus.

spk_2:   30:06
No. When Dad was there, they were trying so home every possible test and nothing was coming back. Most of your stuff was coming back normal that there was nothing wrong with you and they didn’t have a diagnosis. And you’re in this central part of the ER. There’s 10 patients waiting to get beds and you’re in this central part with super loud, crazy beeping all night long. And Dad had just started that new job. And so he refused to leave the hospital. He was sleeping on his backpack. Your dear dad in your room so he could advocate for you because that medicine they gave you, you couldn’t even Harley form sentences. And Dad was being kind of like, you know, summarizing on the phone when I was talking to him. Yeah, they’re doing testing. They’re trying things. They’re trying to figure out a diagnosis. And so I’m first. I’m just preying on my end trusting God for you and that God had a plan and that you’re in his hands and, of course, so relieved that dad’s there and our heavenly father advocating for you and Dad advocating for you. But, son, one of the really low moments and I get a little choked up as I think about it was there was a psychologist. Get to come in your room, Dad. They were talking. And he’s like, Oh, they’re trying toe, you know, test Joe SIA for this and that. And, um and dad said, Hey, man, do you want you want face time in? You can hear the conversation with the doctor and I said, sure, and so he put the phone down. I don’t think the doctor knew and I’m sitting there listening. And then this doctor comes in like Easter Rogers or something. Hijo SIA My name’s Dr So and So how are you doing today? No response. And then he’s like, Well, we’re just gonna ask you some questions and and then, you know, I know Dad’s right there and he said, So who’s Who’s this right here by me? And I know his dad he was asking about and you didn’t say a thing just for our listeners. Joseph is the kid who, in third grade, all in elementary school, he was a skinny little thing because he loved talking so much that he couldn’t hardly eat a dinner every night at the table. And so when I he’s asked you who this is standing next to you and I know it’s your dad and you don’t even respond with the syllable or word or anything, I was like, Wow, this is a really low point. And yet I just had this peace in my heart summit. You were in Gods hands. At that moment, there was nothing I could do but pray. And there was nothing you could do because you were trying to trust cut in your heart to uh

spk_0:   32:57
so then after that, it’s the oh took me out of the hospital there they strap me to, ah, wheelchair type thing with two big strong guys. Like tying me down to this thing Took me to a car.

spk_2:   33:13
Yes. And in this vis right there, son, that is the lowest point for Dad because they still hadn’t diagnosis you and because there was all those patients waiting in the hallway there, like we need to get rid of his room like they had not a diagnosis for you. But what they have done is they had given you a diagnosis as a mental psychotic break, possibly, and they didn’t tell Dad what they were doing. They said, We’re moving you to a different bed at a different hospital because there’s not room at this hospital he was looking at. And, son, you’re such a gentle spirited Anyone who knows you knows you’re very gentle, kind soul. And to see his precious son being manhandled by two bodyguards strapped carelessly to a gurney thrown in the back of ah, car Who Healy got dad. And also, when you got to the hospital, the hospital was actually a mental ward, and they hadn’t told that it was a mental ward. Dad’s just ready with his backpack. He was just going to go in just like he was at the other hospital, conducting business meetings in the hallway with all the beeping. He was going to just come in and advocate for you and do whatever. Your doctor right there said, I’m sorry, sir. Visiting hours are tomorrow it under one o’clock. And he was like, Wait, what? And they said, We’re taking him now. He’s a ward of the state and they took you away. And you’re like by Dad. And that was really hard for Dad, because again, he need your in God’s hands. But they hadn’t told him that. And they had just treated you so awfully. Son, why don’t you share what was going through your mind and how the hospital stay was and what you remember because you were still in such a paranoid, delusional state because of the encephalitis because of what was going on in your brain inflammation And

spk_0:   35:08
yeah, so I remember bullet ing down the freeway at, like, 60 miles an hour or so, and I just was in the back. I saw cars going by. I really thought I was going to die because they’re going in and out of traffic. And then we got to this the back door of the hospital, and they took the straps off of each wrist and we went into this doorway and I remember thinking that it was like a retirement home. It looked old. Wall paper was peeling. It was very dimly lit, the people in their role wearing scrubs and really kind of out of it and not really paying attention from my perspective. And then they told me to put on this gown. And so I ended up just wearing a gown and none of my stuff. I didn’t know where it waas. I remember my dad having to talk to Dr Real Quick, and then he left and they took off the shoe laces from my shoes so that I couldn’t run or walk about. And I was walking around with these, my toes flopping all over the toes of my shoes, flopping all over the place started the tongue, not the tusk, with the tongue of my shoes flopping all over the place, and they took my stuff. They took my backpack, my laptop, my bag. And they said, Well, just take care of it. And immediately, I was super distrustful of the whole place. The people. I went to my bed, and that night it was really difficult for me to sleep because I had this really scratchy blanket on the stiff Matt. That was a bed, and there were two other roommates in my room. One of them is mumbling in a sleep, and the other one is shuffling across the floor, periodically going to the bathroom every 20 or 30 minutes. And so we were all kind of suffering in This is locked room and remember just tossing and turning in bed and would look at the door of our room in the window. There was a small square window at the top of that door in a flashlight would check in every 30 or 40 minutes or so just to make sure that we were still in there. So they were keeping us almost on lock down, so you could imagine why. I thought at that time, with delusional thoughts going on, that I was in a prison and I remember thinking this is gonna be the stories is going to be on the headline Messiah is is going to die in this place and be found out for drug use and all this stuff. And I remember I couldn’t sleep because all these thoughts were going through my head and then the nurse came in at two in the morning or maybe five in the morning. I can’t really tell, but she would offer me medication and I said, No, I don’t want to take it because I had experienced how awful the medication was in the past. I didn’t want to take any more. I didn’t want it messing with my head, but it was I had to. I was forced to, and I remember just thinking there’s so much medication every couple hours. That’s what they gave. So anyway, I woke up the next morning and was really days. I think it was late, and I think I missed breakfast and I walked into this central room and really got to see the other patients who were there for the first time. So I saw my two roommates for the first time in light of day, and they both looked a little troubled. There was one guy cycling in the corner, not saying a word, just staring blankly ahead. There was somebody else who was sitting trying to read a book, but there were just turning the page back and forth. I noticed there weren’t actually reading it. There’s another person kind of singing and drawing on this piece of papers and gibberish, and I was thinking, I’m with these people who are I mean, I must be just out of my mind because I’m here thinking like, Wow, these people are pretty that they’re going to them pretty tough times and I’m must be that bad. So I thought I had to start acting like them and maybe I could get out somehow. So I started taking on the characteristics of other people there. And so I started mumbling my words. I started walking around and hobbling a little bit more, and that was also due to the fact that I was taking so much medication of my brain was with Foggy and unclear and remember actually taking my Bible around everywhere. And remember, this is my This is like a big study Bible, and so it wasn’t like a small little pocket bible this, then that’s a great time. It felt like it weighed, like, £10. Like it just felt so heavy. And I was taking everywhere I went thinking, you know, I’m gonna still follow God wherever I am, and I would I remember. And this is how I knew something wasn’t right. And I would look at a verse and it would be something from the Old Testament or Psalms. And I think it applied to me and it felt like like, it could be a really violent verse from Second Kings. And I think this is gonna happen today. I just felt like, very prophetic. And it was it was not good. And I knew that something was wrong and somebody actually took advantage of that little bit. One of the guys in that place told me that he was an angel, and so he started telling me who’s done that he was an angel, that he was there and he didn’t seem right, and he didn’t seem like he had his head right. But I didn’t know I was there, too. And actually, as I was walking around because we had a little courtyard that we could walk. And I love being outside and I haven’t been outside for so long. So I remember I always had Somebody was talking with me every time. So I would be sitting at the cafeteria table and there would be somebody there, you know, just chatting a little bit. Or I’d be reading a book and somebody would be there. I’ll be walking outside and I had somebody talking to me and I looked around where I, waas and everybody else Waas alone for the most part. And it occurred to me in that moment. What if I’ve been imagining thes people walking by me? Why is it that I see somebody always walking by me, but nobody else is. So I was thinking, What if I’m seeing things? What if I can’t even trust Mayan vision in my mind to know that somebody is talking with me? What if I’m making it up in my head? So at that point, it really took a turn for the worst. And I remember thinking I can’t trust anything that my mind is telling me or that my eyes were seeing I don’t know where I am I thought first for a second maybe I was in a purgatory. Maybe I had already died and I was in this just like middle place. And so I still try to follow God in that. And I was so confused and trying to read verses, but it just didn’t make sense to meet. Then Dad visited.

spk_2:   41:17
Yeah, Dad, So interesting. I hadn’t heard the courtyard thing. That’s pretty crazy, son. Yeah, it’s It’s so as we’re saying this, it just sounds So one flew over the cuckoo’s Nest because when Dad came in the next day, the doctor just had this whole list of medications and it sounds like as the week progressed, you had all these experiences and there’s not even any more testing for diagnosis. They’re doing all these really intense anti psychotic medications, and it was very alarming to data. At that point, they were viewing you as a ward of the state, and we were calling any doctor friends that we knew, and Uncle Dave, who is in social work, and dad were talking on the phone. So Dad come in from like 123 for the visiting hours and then on the off hours. He’s tryingto deal with work and research, all of the state laws, because at that point, you were awarded the state and you had this awful, awful doctor who was trying to get you approved for 10 more medications in tow. Have you in the hospital for another 10 days. And Uncle Dave gave him a lot of wisdom and things to say. There was a court hearing coming up, and I think somewhere in the end of that week, they had given you that awful, awful drug held all again. And do you remember, son? You told me a story, and for me, this was the other super super low point. One of your roommates had started sleeping with the lights on all the time.

spk_0:   42:57
Yeah, I remember thinking eso I had taken that drug, but I didn’t know it, and my tongue was having his words spasms. But I didn’t. I thought I was doing it. I didn’t know it was uncontrollable. And so my tongue kept sticking out and I was thinking of all the verses that I had looked up before that point of the lying tongue and the deceitful talking and in proverbs that has a bunch of problems about the the danger of the tongue and in James as well. And here I am, thinking that I am the cause of the I am singing constantly because my tongue is out. And so I really thought that that thought that I was some type of liar deceitful person because

spk_2:   43:34
yeah, it’s just so sad, son. And that’s just one of those effects. It’s crazy. I looked up the medicine held on one of this side effects Is tongue moving in Herm like shape. Yeah, and you’re like, What? Wow. And you have had such a bad reaction to that drug. And Dad remember that drug specifically and asked not to give it to you because we have a lot of severe allergies and run in the family, and you just were having Morva reaction than most to that kind of a thing. So at that point, you are sitting there you had told me the phrase you wondered if they thought you were Lucifer because you were reading the Bible in your tongue. Was in this life weird out of your mouth. You couldn’t put your tongue back in your mouth, and you couldn’t talk. Yeah, So you wondered how you were coming across and and it’s, uh

spk_0:   44:21
I I was actually really ashamed. So ashamed that whole time. And I remember I didn’t never wanted to say my name. After the first couple of days, they always asked each doctor come up with your name. I did not want to say I was just so ashamed. I didn’t want to Just CYA want to say Glessner. I thought I had just destroyed our family name by my actions. And so I had this bracelet on my hand. That was my identity that had, like, a little barcode of who I waas and I would always try to hide it. And so I put this green jacket on that I had one of the only things that I had from my

spk_2:   44:56
own reformers. A jacket of rich every face time.

spk_0:   44:59
Yeah. So the reason why I was wearing the jacket was because I wanted to cover up all the holes that I had from the shots because I thought other people would think I was using some drug. And that’s why I had all the injections and holes and I had bandages around and I remember looking because I was starting to lose weight at the time that I remember looking my arms look so skinny and I remember like it if I felt like my skin could just peel if I hit it too hard and I had a couple bruises as well. I even remember some nurses coming in. They asked

spk_2:   45:32
me, Oh, so what are you here

spk_0:   45:37
for? Their from a college university? San Diego? Yes, it’s a Catholic school. Him and my sister is. Actually she’s trying to be a nurse to know. So I was thinking, like, just like my sister and

spk_2:   45:49
cool. So So what are you here for? What do you do?

spk_0:   45:53
And I responded, Well, I’m just taking a break from school. Who? School? That’s cool. And they’re kind of looking at each other like this guy goes to school. There’s no chance of Mike. Yeah, I actually I would. I went I was going to UCSD, and then they responded, like in disbelief. Wow. Well, I’m sure

spk_2:   46:13
you were. That’s really cool, huh?

spk_0:   46:16
And here I’m thinking like I was just I was just in school a month ago. Did

spk_1:   46:21
that even happen?

spk_0:   46:22
Like am I ever going to go back? And that just that shame again just brought it just really crushed me, so

spk_2:   46:29
Oh, man, I’m sorry, son. And you know so on dad’s side, you that that makes me so angry when I think about it because Tad noticed. You know, you show dad your arm one day and you have this big infection brewing on your arm from some of the shots. They didn’t clean you or have you take a shower? You I mean, I think you took a couple of sharp. They didn’t even look at you or give you any medical thing while they’re trying toe give so many more drugs. And it was getting so dire at that point in sun, I think it had been from January 1st. It had been, I don’t know, about 43 days, that whole process at this point. And Dad was able to get a hearing with that one awful doctor and the hospital legal team, which I didn’t even know there was such a team. And there was this little back room he had gotten them to back off. On what? In the medications you could talk a teeny bit. You were in the room with Dad and that awful doctor. That doctor is trying to get permission again for a lot more medicines, and he wanted to have you for least another 10 days for examining the person who was in charge. Heard Dad say all of the facts and how we were going to take care of you. And he said he had never seen somebody comes so prepared to that meeting, and he rejected the doctor’s request and said, If you will take your son hope and get him immediately hooked up with the doctor, I will discharge him to you. Do you remember that meeting at all or what happened next?

spk_0:   48:11
I do a little bit. I remember they wanted to keep me there for another 10 days, at least. Yep, and I didn’t know. I didn’t want to speak up because they didn’t want to, like, ruin Dad’s testimony at all or the other doctors. I don’t know who was on my side, so I just kind of kept quiet and I got to leave, and I think I remember my dad saying that I left without any medication. So all of the psychotic drugs that he’s trying to give me. They were gone, but the delusional thoughts were still there. I remember coming back with that from the hospital and feeling free. Like, Wow, I’ve free from that place but not free in my head. I still thought that I was somebody was going to kill me and that and that people were orchestrating all of this to get a confession out of meteor and that they were just pretending I remember us going to a restaurant and then going home and then leaving on the airplane. And as I was on airplane back home, I was thinking, This is it. It was all for this moment to be on this airplane to then have it crashed. So not only am I gonna die, but everybody on this plane has to die with me and my dad because I didn’t confess back there. You know, all of these people are suffering for me. So I just remember thinking it the plane’s gonna crash and every bump that was there I was like, this is it bracing myself? But somehow we landed. And so I still thought it was going that there, that people were waiting for me to say something. So I came home and then I saw. And then I saw it. Well, I saw you at the airport. Yes.

spk_2:   49:43
So I’ll catch up on Dad’s hurt. OK? Eso No, no, it’s great, son. It’s great. It’s your story of God’s worked in you through this whole time and it it’s hard to sharing. It’s so great. When you left the hospital, Dad, I was nervous. He was so excited. But he had to hold your hand walking down the street because you were so not sure what to do and paranoid. And I think I was evening and late in the evening and you went summer, got something to eat, went to the house, spent the night in your room like he he didn’t really sleep because he was making sure you were sleeping. And we’re okay, dear Dad, always laying down his life for your kids and he just sat there and you’ve got just a little bit of sleep. And the next morning a few precious words. But I get this phone call and you say, Hi, mom, I’m coming home. And that was so precious. But you sounded so normal in a and dad near just what to say which, like I’m coming home. And I was just like Hollywood. You thank you, God, you know, Dad said he was so nervous. And actually, when we went to your graduation recently and we were in the airport, Dad was a little bit emotional because we stopped in every spot. He said, Meg, this is where we were when Joseph and I were coming home. He got there at four o’clock with you at the airport cause he was afraid something was going to switch with the hospital or they were going to call. He wanted to get you home. So you were there for clock in the morning before any of those gates even opened up and he showed me the bench that you were sitting on and he said, Right here, man, it was a special place. This is where we waited and he said, When we got through security and got through customs here, it got through on the plane. He was just so happy when the plane door closed and such joy in his heart. And I really didn’t know son about the losing weight part. All I knew is that you’re in God’s hands for 45 days. On the 46 a day Mama’s their meeting you on the curb and I hop out of the car and I see you and Dad my precious son who had just left 46 days earlier Happy, healthy, strong, So excited to serve the Lord you saw me, you were down 15 to £20. Your face was gone. But your sweet spirit in your drawers right there. And you say, Mom, when you came running toward me and I ran to you and it was very precious and right at that moment this song came this Keith Green song came bursting forth in my heart in mind was such join it. Bring the best robes. Put him on my son shoes for his feet. Hurry, Put them on. This is my son, who I thought was lost My son’s return to the hands of God. I’m gonna play that piece of music because it is a very special tuned to my heart. God is good, son. And you came home and the drugs were starting toe wear off a little bit within three days you were 90% better without all that medication in you. And how was it for your son coming home?

spk_0:   52:59
I came home and then I remember Elijah to more As soon as I opened the door. Just

spk_1:   53:04
I, uh,

spk_0:   53:05
run down the stairs and gave me a big hug and that I think when I was when I realized that’s a lot of what I was missing out on, it wasn’t the conversations with the doctors and the medication that was helping at all. But what was helpful, so helpful in the first couple of days was just Ah, hug for my little brother was a homemade meal was just people who really thought the best of me and didn’t think I was some patient needing to be cured, but that I was just your son or a brother. And so that in the sleep and just being at home and comfortable within three days, I felt What back,

spk_2:   53:47
son? What I remember is you just opening the fridge and grant grabbing and pulled a banana and walking around and just hanging out, having sweet family time, singing some songs. You pulled out your guitar. We looked at music.

spk_1:   54:03
You just

spk_2:   54:04
seemed almost completely normal right away as the drugs were out of your system and you got some sleep without of the beeping and grazie people around. But one little thing I don’t know. You probably didn’t know that, but for me, I came out of the room because I would I would just make sure you were going to sleep. And once you were at the end of the hallway here on our guest room and you you pick your head out the door and you looked at me like, Is it okay, Mom, Can I come out of the room? And that made me so sad Because I thought of you in the hospital where they had to locked in rooms and ask before Yeah, like you had to ask Teoh. That only lasted it a few days. And then that was gone. We took you to the doctor. Like we said, we went toe Dr Christina and got actual tested. We wanted to see because at this point, we still had There was no diagnosis. They had treated you like it was some mental break in psychosis. But there was zero blood work that showed that there was anything wrong with you Besides, besides their initial encephalitis diagnosis. So we went to Dr Casino within a couple of days, as we said we would do. We took you there. He did this really long interview with you. He was wonderful. Katie McCorkell. Nancy Niles was very helpful. And then we have a friend from from our old church say, Steve Krelman. Who, Pam comment helps set up with. But we did like this Big. Who? Our interview with Dr Krelman. And you’ve been home? What, about a week or two that his Towson Linwood. And he asked you everything from the first day on set, and he picked up something that all the doctors missed. You had a fever between the first case of insulin, several lightest before you got into the second hospital. So you actually, the fever is highly indicative of a relapse of encephalitis. Although Simpson’s were just, All those symptoms were related to a relapse of encephalitis, which is an infection in your brain with swelling. And these kind of things can take. Take a year and 1/2 to fully just hill. Doctor Cray Leman said you had zero mental. There was nothing left over that you would have in your life that you’re completely 100% recoverable from that illness. Praise God! Praise God. So, son, what I’d like catch everyone. If you took the whole quarter off, You stayed home. We had a great semester. You got all kinds of good times with some friends from Seattle University and people all the road community church came alongside you and your other friends. Oh, your other friends from crew? Yeah. Didn’t they send? I

spk_0:   56:56
sent a card in the mail that said, Get well, everybody. A lot of the people that were really important to me that we’re friends signed it. And that’s really when I knew that I had had a family of people down there in San Diego as

spk_2:   57:11
well in some here.

spk_0:   57:12
That’s when I really made a decision that to come back to school at UCSD,

spk_2:   57:17
which you were ready for the following quarter. Yeah, and you would you have done some through the doctors and tests on your brain to see how you were in your It was at 99th percentile. So you your brain was absolutely kind,

spk_0:   57:32
but I remember reading this verse and thinking this is my situation. Not only that,

spk_2:   57:38
which worse is it?

spk_0:   57:39
This is Romans 53 through five. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance and endurance, produces character and character produces hope in hope does not put us to shame because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. And then, while we were still weak and helpless at the right time, Christ died for the ungodly. Hey, man, it was a trial that was growing me and helping me and not a stand was careful to journal about them. So I wouldn’t forget that

spk_2:   58:15
you’re such a journal. Or I know you’ve got lots of journals and insurance very exciting to go back and re read what you have written in your journals through the whole thing. As you look back now at all that you went through, how do you see God’s hand in your life? Then?

spk_0:   58:32
From the beginning, it was got hand because I went into this quarter thinking I am going to do ministry I not going to play this quarter. I really want to spend time sharing the gospel and praying and spending time with my fellow believers. And it was almost the same night when I first got the shingles. Rap es and so they were so interlinked. I remember seeing actually you don’t know about this, but I remember the reason why I chose not to do a play into new ministries because one night I saw it was almost like this vision or dream where it was. It was some type of promise where if you this next quarter, you go and really pursue God with everything at the top of the stairs. There was just this this open door and it was There’s light pouring through. And so I was expecting that this quarter, and God threw me for a loop bus From that verse. The suffering produces endurance and endurance, produces character and character produces hope. And so after that whole time, where my mental health was taken, really for a ride, God was producing endurance and got his producing character and home. And that’s what I got about a month or two later, realizing that I’m more hopeful now because I know that people go through really difficult times like that, but that there is a way out and God is there through that time. And I can have empathy for others who were going through that. Because now I’ve experienced

spk_2:   1:0:01
Joseph. Thank you so much for sharing and being vulnerable and revisiting that crazy time in your life. Like you said Now. I mean, the Lord used that and and is bringing just that whole, I guess. Escalator of light. Just saying God do great things in such hope. Enjoy on the horizon. And as you’re sharing that what I thought about how I will conclude my life verse You don’t my life versus but you don’t know, Do you remember? I shared it. But it’s John 10 27 28th. My sheep hear my voice and I know them and they phone and I’ve given to them eternal life and they shall never perish. Neither shall anyone

spk_1:   1:0:48
plucked him out. Think about your life right there in hospitals. And

spk_2:   1:0:55
Dad and I reflect on that the whole time. I just have this image

spk_1:   1:0:59
in my heart. I love this son. Bring the best road, put it on my shoes for his feet. Hurry, This is my gram. Here is your P s. Some extras about our guest

spk_2:   1:2:44
ready for some questions. So what’s the book that has impacted you?

spk_0:   1:2:47
Definitely seven habits of highly effective people. That’s one that I’ve now read for six years. So it’s Ah, it’s a long burn, but it’s going, and I think it’s more. I’m taking a long time because I’m thinking through it and it’s really impacted me.

spk_2:   1:3:00
I do remember Dad reading that with you and sitting. Mariano’s going through that together. Many times. You have done a lot of theater. I’ve been to a lot of shows. What would you say is your favorite role that you’ve

spk_0:   1:3:12
done in high school? I was in a show called Harvey with an invisible rabbit who’s six feet tall, and I got to play the rabbits. Best friend Elwood P. Dowd. Yes, it was my favorite character because he is such a joyful, loving and a little bit how do you say ignorant? But it was so fun to play.

spk_2:   1:3:32
Yeah, that’s a really fun show. Three accents. We’ll

spk_0:   1:3:36
start with Scottish. Scotland is one of my favorite places to go from Braveheart. The movie Okay, so that Scottish a little taste of it, But Irish is a little different. I like doing the mix between some people don’t on the difference, but Irish has little more. Bush has a little more of a melodic sound to it. It goes up and down and and the hours are a little more pronounced in the Scottish hours. And then you got Australian the mouth. It’s wide open. It really opens up the room. You know, it’s nice and easy. Very got word

spk_2:   1:4:09
on the street has it that you have seven siblings. One quick thing that you admire about each of them.

spk_0:   1:4:14
Definitely what I admire about them. Naomi has a servant heart and solid work ethic. Hannah has a disarming presence about her and thoughtfulness. Habila has a passion for people and big ideas. Eden has this spiritual depth and wisdom that I really love. Micah is really intentional about relationship being there with you, and you always say, Mama, when he walks to the door, I love it. Jordan has a confidence and intentionality with people that I admire, and Elijah is fearless and has a natural leadership among his peers and among us to. He could boss us around some tough. That’s

spk_2:   1:4:51
true. How about a silly injury?

spk_0:   1:4:54
Okay. I was in the car with my mom and I was looking a fresh, dumb, dumb, and I bid it cause I was impatient and I kept licking it, and

spk_1:   1:5:04
one of the

spk_0:   1:5:05
sharp ends of the dumdums slit my time. So did that happen? I don’t know, but I was deciding who was the actual dumb them. And that’s circumstance. Yes, Well, what characteristic do you love most about our God? One thing I’ve been studying a lot recently is God’s faithfulness in From Genesis to Deuteronomy. I’ve been going through different promises. And every time it’s the same thing that he promises to his people, even if they mess up. Even if they go through all the awful stuff that happens in the first part of the Old Testament, he still is faithful. So reminds me of that verse when we are faithless, he is faithful.

spk_2:   1:5:40
So true, and I also think of the verse that says Jesus Christ the same yesterday, today and forever. That’s just something that’s with me almost every day in my heart, I think about I remember you’re talking when you would come back for a mission trip to Santa Monica and you were telling me about how all of your friends sat in a circle on each person, got something good said about them and got roasted a little bit.

spk_0:   1:6:04
Yes, so my friends roasted me there. They’re pretty good at doing it. They’ll start really sweet. So you think it’s a compliment and then get you at the end? They said, Just CYA We just love how you love the word of God. It’s great, and especially when you turn it on full volume on your audio book that’s like, really dramatic and has instrumentals in the background when we’re trying to sleep. It’s so nice. So thank you.

spk_2:   1:6:28
You mentioned earlier seven habits, and I remember you and Hannah were writing your personal mission statement. Would you be willing to share that?

spk_0:   1:6:37
Mine is from Matthew 22. It’s when Jesus stopped about the greatest commandment. So it’s love the Lord, my God, with all my heart, soul, mind and strength, and love my neighbor as myself. And so in that for me, it’s three things that I see loving God with all I have loving the people around me and taking care and loving myself a swell. So I have little things like sharing the gospel in word indeed is something I’ve written down is part of my mission statement admitting mistakes freely for myself or for God practicing the presence of God daily or immersing myself in God’s creation. How

spk_2:   1:7:12
do you is there a way you keep that on the forefront of your thinking?

spk_0:   1:7:15
Yeah, I actually just posted on my wall in my room or at the top of each week of my calendar. I’ll write the first down just to remind myself,

spk_2:   1:7:25
Thank you. And last I remember last time you visited, you were writing a song. Did you finish that song? I did. Yeah. What is the title of it?

spk_0:   1:7:35
It’s called Streams Alive. It’s about being in a desert season and not seeing any spiritual fruit. And then the streams. God’s promise and favor kind of coming through that

spk_2:   1:7:47
grate. Well, if you wouldn’t mind, I might. Maybe you could just sort of sing that. Would you be willing? Sure. All right, now that ends our questions

spk_3:   1:7:56
way. Wonder rest way for are they see? Give us peas are NT Search has left and wear parched for water on fast and made a way even though we can’t see streams alive in the wilderness Spring swelling up from the rock Flooding out all our fear in the midst of our darkest place Way your glories washing over Give us living one You are way um said us Give us your love spirit Five living way lived you hire You have said us free Give us your love But you made a way Even though we can’t see streams alive in wilderness Scream Swelling up from the rock Putting out all our fear In the midst of my darkest place Your here your glories failing of this’ll So your glories washing over Give us your love of spirit five thinning You are way holy fire burning bras I you are always give us your love Your glory filling way We’re so you’re goalies washing over these your your through

spk_1:   1:11:52
This wraps up our first story of how our great God is at work in our hearts and in our world To find out more about Joe Sayeth Glessner and this Seattle based podcast follow letters from home on Instagram Second, Corinthians 33 And you show that you are a letter from Christ delivered by us, right? And not with ink, but with the spirit of the living god. No, on tablets of stone, but on tablets of human hearts till next time go.