Episode 9 Transcript, Elisabeth

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and now for the next episode of Letters From Home, sending encouragement to your doorstep by capturing the heartbeat of God’s people one story at a time.

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Today’s guest is 29 year old Elizabeth Strong. She and her husband, Steve, and therefore small Children, live in Marysville, Washington and a 10 Marysville community church. In her story, she shares her journey to motherhood, which is what she always wanted and the unforeseen, crazy rocky road she has been through since, including many miscarriages, an ambulance, birth, 10 weeks early PTSD. She worked through with help, a near drowning of another child, miracles she saw along the way and where she sees the end of her loving God watching over her and her family. Through it all, the story was taped. It can’t Gilead and August and at her home in September so you might hear the voice of Children playing here. In there in the audio, Elizabeth Strong. Thanks for letting me come to Cap Gillian and carry Nation Washington, too. Talk with you about your story. When I think of your Elizabeth, you know that you’re like my extra daughter and we’re one of our oldest, very best friends. You you definitely have the record of at our house more than any kid of our eight kids. And we feel blessed. I’ve loved being with you over the years and most recently with you sharing your story of motherhood at mops this spring. I know for when you were a little little seventh grade, Elizabeth. And he popped over my door one day and you had your your baby sitting for somebody. And you have, like, a baby, you

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know, four kids with you and your it was 12 number naming to, and I think they have extra to over. So I was like, You don’t look far coming on over, you know, like, how did you come in with

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a big smile and you were So it ease with all those kids. And one of the main things I remember about Young s Elizabeth is that you love your own family, which is a big family. And you just couldn’t wait to have kids.

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I see. Remember my mind. At least stand right on that. I would like 10. 15 you know, one pregnancy a time. Hopefully there’s multiples in there. And I also

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remember just thinking you love Jesus so fast. Forward to today and you’re you’re married and you’re pregnant with number five and you’ve been through a whole lot of stuff anywhere, Really happy. You’re sharing your start today. Where did your faith story begins?

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Well, begin. When I was about three years old, my oldest sister got invited to a woman at Tabernacle Baptist Church. My mom looked

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into It was like a for my kids could go, let’s send them.

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And she’s always been fine with us, choosing what we want to believe. That’s gonna started as a little three year old cubby. And then when I was in sparks around six or seven, remember the exact day or moment I heard the gospel on got saved? I didn’t pray with anyone. I remember praying it over and over and over, like, let’s swap some 11 daisy go up seven long by yourself, and I pray that Christ would come into our and then later that I pray Crisman. And then a later message they share the only had, Once you’re you don’t lose your salvation, which was very nice. Place grew up, just get kicked out. Family. So it in fifth grade. I was baptized, which was, I would say, where it kind of took off. I learned that it’s not just a thing. You you

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do it once you’re safe, it’s something

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you can continue to grow all the way through your entire life. Even in junior high meeting Naomi first day of school, I remember she showed up the softball practice, and I truly believe that God sent mail it to me to be that friend toe walk through junior high and high school. I

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wouldn’t want

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to repeat those years, but I am just grateful God sent me a strong Christian friends. Going into 11. I start working high school staff at camp, and that’s just where my faith just really took off.

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It was a lot of decisions

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I made through high school and junior high came from things I learned I can’t like as a camper. Other in the verse First Corinthians, 11 1 follow my example as I follow the example of Christ. And that’s not to say that it’s like a private like Oh, look at me. I’m so good. More people are watching you. People want to see who Christ is. I need to be the example that crisis loving and caring towards others and someone who wants to help and serve and even being on high school staff. It’s a behind the scenes, your washing dishes, cleaning bathrooms and take cabins for an hour. But it’s mostly behind the saints. That verse just for the shaped my years.

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Stephen, I have known each other.

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I would say, since like we went to church, I want it together And it wasn’t until high school and, you know, high that we were youth group together. He was just like that, that I was like, No, never. And my brother and I lived together. The Stephen come around all time. He helped me paint around. I guess it slowly turned into like I’m here to see net to I’m here to

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seal is that may being like a Bolivia’s two. It’ll

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on. I remember going and visiting some of my friends in the Tri Cities, and he messaged me that he would like to make coffee. Remember stupid like I am in the Tri Cities and there’s actually the first day in about four months that we hadn’t seen each other just

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because he was always over. And it just came a joke like, yeah, how many days or weeks? This speech in a row. And he came to tell

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me he liked me,

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but never did. And then when he left a message like, I know

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why you were here

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on then. Quite a funny story. Like we still laugh about it because he was so nervous when I

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came back from that trip, I was trying to convince him why he didn’t want me. Like,

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here’s all the reasons you should not like me and one of them waas You know I’m crazy because I want a huge family e go. Yeah, yeah, I knew that was like, No, I want a big should you family, like, you know, 10 plus good things. What about six would be a good start, but I guess I had six would be good, but I guess six is a good start. I think I

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think have kind of changed as we have kids. But I saw my family march 25th 2011. Yet by 2015 11 we started dating May 7th. We’ve got engaged, and August 27th we got married. All it doesn’t love it. When we found out December 31st 2011 that we’re expecting our first baby, So 11 was pretty big year. I have this picture of my mom snapped when they put him in my arms. I’m crying. He’s

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crying. Steve’s crying. But it was just that

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moment, like this dream that I’ve always had that I didn’t know if would ever come through, came through and there’s nothing like holding your baby for the first time. Just that moment I still the actual pop up, and it still

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brings tears to my eyes.

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So when Jethro was about eight months old, we got pregnant again. But seven weeks, five days we missed, carried that baby, and then we got pregnant again with something they called chemical pregnancy. So, like pregnancy test will pick it up. Your blood test will pick it up, but it’s like your body’s preparing to be pregnant, and then you’re not so under about five weeks. Medically, they don’t count it as a pregnancy. Benson, that was under five weeks. They caught a chemical pregnancy was the term I had never heard of before. I bring to test in the book and I had 20 plus positive brings it so there wasn’t a false and my doctor said you were probably pregnant and in your body just didn’t do anything with it.

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An effective your heart. The same like,

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yeah, I lost a child at that moment.

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You see that test positive? You built love for that child already hit.

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So that was hard

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to go through again because we had already gone through it. And then, like all this has happened again. Like what’s the chances? I’m young. I was 23 like, really, What’s chances? And then a month later, we got pregnant again. I went in to have an ultrasound. There was a strong heartbeat. Things were going great. They told me they’d be surprised if anything happened. And less than 12 hours later I had another miscarriage. And so it was just like mentally in my heart. Couldn’t keep doing it. But I want another baby. We wanted another baby. And going through those miscarriages really takes innocents away from pregnancy, things that you don’t ever think I’ll take. You hear people up miscarriages. Um, but until you go through its it’s different. And when we went through that last one. It’s like, Can we really go through this again and were laid in bed? And Jethro was with us and just ask you why? Like, why does this keep happening? Like why you allow pregnancy. If it’s not gonna continue that, we’re gonna have to go through this. I had just seen my baby on the ultrasound. Totally fine, if you’re right, and then for end was heartbreaking. And then we found out we were pregnant again. And the fear and anxiety just like overtaking the song. Blessed be the name of the Lord came Terminal said That’s all he gives and he takes away possibly the name award. And why happened? I don’t know I might never have an answer but I know it’s all for God’s glory. We were scared, but we didn’t want it to overtake the enjoyment up having another baby. So we Where

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did it offer early?

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We went. I was going in probably every two days. I could see the baby just now and then at seven weeks they sent me to hospital to have a bigger ultrasound and we saw heart be temple looking thing. My doctor was awesome. and he allowed me to come in as much as I wanted. Once I passed that, like, 7.5 week mark, they put me on progesterone. It’s beginning and I end up having successful pregnancy. So by the time she was born, she was also born at 36 weeks, six days. We just technically a late term creamy, have a little girl’s avoiding the girls love little precious Joseph. He has. I actually didn’t. We didn’t know what we’re having. And so when she was born, Steve was not there because traffic

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story you give this alone so

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happened. I totally got saying that I am going to my parents house and went into labor within 10 minutes of being there. And so my mom took me the hospital. Those rush hour pouring down rain almost t boned a couple times on the way to hospital to a 15 minute drive turned 45 55 as active labor. And so we got to the hospital and I was 10. So they told me I could push, and

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I’m not pushing my authors. Not here. My husband’s on your

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Steve’s on the phone, and my mom, perhaps that hates like when we realize Steve wasn’t gonna make my doctor about there. So we got to last about 5 45 PM Dr Mahathir, 607 Steve was on the phone and we just kept asking, Where

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are you? Where are you? There was always kind of that fear

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that, like what if I ever have to go through labor without my

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husband? Well, that was that moment. And so

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he’s likes Oreos. I’m still over 1/2 hour away. There’s horrible traffic. I’ve been stuck in the same light five times. I’m not gonna make it. So we left him on the phone. Andi, my mom was like, Hey, he’s not gonna be here. And you guys don’t know what you’re having. Do you want us to keep it a surprise until he

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gets here like pushing? Got a blanket

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and wrapped as she was coming out, wrapped in a blanket, all handed her to me. I felt her for about 1/2 an hour.

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I even knew what I had. I was kind of in shock

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because it happened so fascinating. Labour started, like five, and she was born at 6 12 So it was super fast. And so I’m holding her in my arms and he walks in like

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what we have. And I was like, I don’t know Well, a baby, it’s a girl. But so we have little Joe seen our boy and a girl. It was great. And then when Josephine Waas, 10 months old with pregnant again and kept his prize and July 4th it was a holiday steeples with me. I was driving down the road And Hey, Steve, I can’t. When I’m having contractions were actually a family camp. I can feel you were driving back and so pull over, pull over like freaking out because, you know, fast labors are can we pull over around the country? And, you know, I had already been them for about play 15 minutes. They were two minutes part. Oh, my way pulled over. Steve finished writing because I drive in active labor, showed up at the hospital three o’clock who was born at 3 27 under. I made it this time on Doctor Dr Paul.

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He said he just had a

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few, and I was gonna have a baby and because

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he told me I am going to fail again. You don’t way got a camp like we love family campus are one vacation a year.

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And so one night I had a baby, Uh, where we had Conrad, Um, when I

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left the hospital back family camp and I recovered.

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And then when Conrad waas 11 months without pregnant again, I mean,

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then you wanted to write. Want to? Yeah. Yeah, like we planned it.

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We’re ready for another one. Things were going smoothly around my seven weeks this having spotting, and so I was kind of worried. And my doctor doctor call had come in. Just get my levels. Chapman. He couldn’t see me because he actually had to go to a delivery. So I was gonna see him a couple days later, but he actually died of a heart attack, which was totally unexpected on heartbreaking and scary, because he was mentally doctor I’ve ever had. And he was there when I had my miscarriages. He was there when I had my babies. Like he delivered me like he literally was my only doctor. And so then I feel like I now have to find a doctor. Will be who I could trust. Who would listen to me if I said

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Hey, I’ve been having contractions instantly.

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He’s come in, will be checked out, make sure everything’s fine. So to find a doctor who is willing to do that, you was one that if you went to him, he made sure he was there for the delivery. So, like Jethro, he was actually heading out of town and went to the hospital instead. And he missile going out of town to deliver my baby.

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And he delivered six of the seven of us. He was such a kind man and so pro family. And Mike and I loved having was a doctor. I

spk_3:   16:35
never felt like when I was coming when I tell him I was burning and I never felt like he judged me your life again,

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you do get like, Oh, another one. A lot of big family shaming. Yeah, he never made me feel that

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way. And he always told me every single but baby was a blessing would give me parenting advise. And I remember when we got pregnant with her, for he hasn’t like, How do we do this? If he was living the 1st 1 it’s two on one. You have got this. The

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2nd 11 on 3rd 1 Okay. Zone defense fourth. Won’t start recruiting them over the o light weight. Have not forgot. Each time we were like, OK, Which kids come into our

spk_1:   17:27
never seeing you a lot mops during this time You just seem like, you know, you just handled everything so well. But I remember this being super hurt when he passed away.

spk_2:   17:36
It was I was so surprising because it was so healthy too. Yeah, and

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I was home alone. Call me. Hey, it’s steep. There. Anyone there? No. What happened to Dr like I just I knew I just had this feeling. It’s a You’re scary because then I had to look. We had it announced. Operated yet We were having another ultrasound at 30 weeks. Just Oh, random ultrasound. Just checking. Maybe. And it was then that they found my cervix was super super short. That I was only 1/2 a centimeter. What you call being fully face which means, like the babys got come. And so I was only 30 weeks exactly that day. So we got steroid shots that day the next day. But it was still kind of like, Oh, just take it easy

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to insert like we’re concerned but

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not too concerned. And then Saturday all day went to a craft fair of selling some baby boobies that I had made like outfits. And a normal day like that was having contractions all

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day. So I just got home and you decided, Hey, let’s set up a

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Christmas tree and decorations. It’s a fake trees. So we got it all out and I just felt like something was off. Something didn’t feel right. It’s a kind of that mom. Good.

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You know, I’m still go

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to bathroom and laid down. I’m just gonna take it easy. The rest of trees, like half off. It was time to finish it and like in the bath kind of time, Any contraction. So I

spk_2:   19:13
wasn’t worried, so I didn’t call anyone. I really wanted French toast. Favorite food in some way. Hasn’t

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bought brag to make French toast, bitch. He said it was the best French does he had ever made, which he has made a lot for me. And he brought it to fix when they were not to set the tables. Just still not feeling great. So I went to bed, He brought it turned I sat down to two bites. Look. Oh, no. And a 2.5 minute contractions started, like went from nothing to 2.5 minutes. 30 seconds off 2.5 minutes. 36

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zero was like transition labor full on transition

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to flavor. When I got my steroid shot, the triage nurse had given me a card to call If anything happened, and I thought it was a new hospital, I’ve never been there and I didn’t know where skills go labor. They will get it and calling. So, like, I guess, Come in. Okay. Got all the information. So I yelled for Steve because I was in the room and I really just hope. But the kids had plugged in this blow up Mickey toy in our hallway. So, like a

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fan, everything it’s like trying to get through my contractions like it is attention. But he wasn’t hearing because he was, like, across the house. And so finally I come no weapon. It is that we should call. It was we are not calling. I am not. We won’t make it to

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hustle. Well, three little kids. It was crazy, like once, just in a diaper, crying. He’s tired. The other one was potty training, so she didn’t have diaper on or anything like that. So and then the other one, my oldest Jeff, was like,

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I wasn’t supposed to be there this time because he was there when Conrad was born and just like e. I’m not supposed to be there. This is going to Auntie’s House,

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which my sister just happened Tom Day. And then no one was answering their phones, trying to find someone to come and watch the kids. And I guess when I’m in, like when it’s time to push, I say, How we? But that’s the only time I ever say, Holly, that’s Steve Heard it. He calls one is like There’s no work,

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and so far it looks like I’m calling because this weird thing happened

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where I like, almost became perilous. Like I ended up on the ground and I couldn’t move. I could not stand up and do not will make it to us. And so he called everyone and was on the phone with them when my water broke, which at that me all like things like, there’s no way we can stop us now. This baby is coming. We didn’t know what condition we don’t know. I knew he was alive because he was kicking and moving, and he was very, very active, baby. But, um and so the paramedics got there and garlic, I took the time. I feel it. I was taking that this one year. And crazy moments is like, really seems slow motion.

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And you’re still

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in the

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ground, right? I’m still ground, and so but they’re taking your vitals. It really doesn’t

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take that long. But in my head and my

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choir, we going so slow, like, I just need to get there. So we get in the area,

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He closed the door, uh, and then they were trying to figure out where we’re going because Providence has to location. I was taking a triage. They know I’m coming like the women’s. That’s why I need to go. And so he’s

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telling the person in the back of the when you

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say you one of those places, actually legally supposed to take you there, and so they called around to just find out for sure where I should go and actually didn’t tell Steve for sure. Where

spk_4:   23:02
were his anxieties? That he had no clue where we’re gonna be here? No clue. Baby was gonna be alive. He had no clue if the babys are born. Can not, like, interested enough. So my brother out there

spk_3:   23:15
just wanted to go. And so Steve took him in as they’re driving. And Steve’s crying And, like, my family is calling my phones and found my phone. So he’s, like, answering, like talking to people and Jethro in the back. It’s gonna be OK, Daddy. Mommy is gonna be OK. Like, totally soothing my little five year old.

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So states crying even more on the

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way. So e keep guessed right,

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You would pavilion and medicine, but so we’re going down and the price just like if anything changes, just let me now, like changes. I’m in labor. I don’t know what

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changes you. Okay, I look up and like, there’s a camera there, won’t get this recording and look out

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the window like because I just hear the science keep going and which normally means air going through lights. What were we doing trying to figure out? Well,

spk_2:   24:12
there was a parade and Mary. So I still have to go around the praise and then I’m looking with Didn’t I see me out there?

spk_3:   24:22
Oh, no, no, no. Like you’re higher up. Like how the windows are. I look in all the windows. My

spk_2:   24:28
pass ambulances you like? Well, interesting. So, like, a lot

spk_3:   24:38
goes from my mind when things were going on. Anyways, so

spk_4:   24:42
we’re writing this. There was killed, you get, like, this Baby’s coming out. So he was born. And again, we don’t know what we’re having. And he announced his life gets

spk_2:   24:54
the boys like Well, okay. This,

spk_4:   24:58
like, I was completely surprised. I thought we were having a girl. And I asked him, How many things have you delivered before he

spk_2:   25:06
goes? None. Fight this chasing. Congratulations on your first delivery. You’re saying that

spk_1:   25:14
you’re just gave birth? Let’s just be clear that no birth is pain free. You’re

spk_2:   25:20
not just sitting there like having a cup of Starbucks. Like having a baby trying to comfort the guy, right? I don’t like Well, he was Smalls. It wasn’t that Okay. Labour is still painful. Whether you have a

spk_3:   25:35
£3 baby or a convict, it’s labour it still hurts, but there’s just that moment of like this is kind

spk_4:   25:43
of funny. I just had a baby in an ambulance, like Never. This is my first ambulance right to I never

spk_2:   25:50
had a spring. So it was like And there’s a pray that there’s some kind of feels like a part of the parade work seven babies before I have. Like

spk_4:   25:58
when I was pregnant, where I was like

spk_2:   26:01
whole house. This baby beat the los

spk_3:   26:03
deliveries first when I was at a wedding when I went into labor. The 2nd 1 my husband miss, because you know he was at work and Crazy Storm and barely made to the hospital. 3rd 1 family camp on the Fourth of July. So it’s like house. This baby could beat

spk_2:   26:19
that. Well, he beat it. Did he wins? He’s like, Yes, So Baby Hugo was

spk_4:   26:27
born, which, looking back, it was totally a blessing, that he was actually born in events

spk_3:   26:32
because I was able to hold him that hold him for about five minutes. We’re about five minutes or more from the hospital. I

spk_1:   26:39
feel like I remember you telling me that the guy was an experience in that he didn’t cut the cord and bloodless spurring on you, and you kind of have the

spk_2:   26:48
tools of it. Yeah, he was going to steps because this was his first they reading the paper, What was the first baby can

spk_3:   26:58
never deliver it. And it was the first delivery period of our experience. So not just doing it, but also experienced life, which

spk_2:   27:05
is a

spk_3:   27:05
lot of things. And so he had cut the court and he clamped my side, but not his side on. He was like, OK, skin to skin. Okay, lift your shirt. So getting skin stand, um, which was right, because that decision to do that made it his body temperature never dropped. His God has this amazing thing that he does that my body temperature will regulate the babys picture, which is amazing to think about. And so if you put him on me, But when he was holding them to put him down, it was like, Why human blood on me?

spk_2:   27:43
Oh, yeah, the other clamp. You might want to use it like there’s two. And so it was like, Oh, happened,

spk_3:   27:50
like clamps and puts him on me and get the blanket on, and it’s like a warming blanket. But they and they were kind of just robbing him to like because he didn’t cry. He didn’t just, you know, as a parent, you deliver your waiting for that credible. That wasn’t happening. And like he was breathing. But I could feel his chest just caving in. And he’s only 30 weeks. Five days at this point was tightening. He was tiny, and so his I could feel him just struggling to breathe. So I’m just like robbing him and trying keep it moving and active, like, um, So we I like wiping his mouth out like,

spk_1:   28:35
Is he telling anyone? Is he saying she gave birth or anything

spk_2:   28:39
out? There’s no communication. Happy New Year to you. Yeah, I forgot hospital. Yeah, it’s all

spk_3:   28:47
learning, curve. They pull up to the hospital, and and so they put the blanket over me, and first I put it back down. I know we’re going outside, so I put it over his end. So I’m holding him there. Security when he first We’re just taking after the delivery area. Okay? For three. I stayed in there like just again slow motion. Everything. Slyke Teoh baby on me a lot. Like

spk_2:   29:15
why are we like, not panicking right now? Is this not urgent? Yeah, I try to

spk_3:   29:20
hold things together, just like my outside appearance is definite difference. What’s on the inside? Because I was, like,

spk_2:   29:27
kind of freaking out. Like, Yes, I

spk_3:   29:29
get a hold of my child and this is great, but he obviously needs help. He’s not crying

spk_2:   29:35
when the elevator, and

spk_3:   29:36
they’re just talking back and forth and like, I mean, what else you and

spk_1:   29:41
you’re singing. You

spk_2:   29:42
know, I was on the way.

spk_3:   29:44
We get up there and they’re like,

spk_2:   29:46
OK, can you move? Can you walk to

spk_3:   29:48
the bed? Like, do you think you can walk like, Oh, babies here? And the look on the nurses

spk_2:   29:54
face was like, Why did you not call ahead? We need to know. How long was the baby

spk_3:   29:59
born? What’s this was like asking these questions. Absolutely. Him and then pullup like it. There’s this elevator was between the floors, and I remember the nick you staff from running through the door pushing the ice, let and they’re pushing into another room. They just take him off my chest, which is an emotional thing to have your baby take it from you. And so they’re always better. About five minutes if no one knew what time he was born to this day, we still on time he was going to bring me to this room. I’m like they’re trying to work on me just to make sure it’s going that sent us out. Like which didn’t come out when they’re giving me Potosi shots in my leg, which felt like fire. And so then the emotions, like babies taken and like

spk_1:   30:50
he was not the same room with you

spk_2:   30:51
at that moment. He waas because they

spk_3:   30:53
were taking his temperature and giving him on oxygen. That’s what it was like trying to watch him as they’re trying to talk to me. I just want my baby separation in this idea of like, your baby is taken, which obviously was for him, like he needed oxygen. And so they got him hooked up and he started, like, cause you could see his ribs as he’s it was in district. He was in distress. His whole stomach would suck in to just get one breath there. So they got himself. And then, as ever, about that shot was when they took him out. He’s no longer in the same room as me. They’re trying to just get sent out so I could go join them. But if you come out so then they start What possibly taking to the O. R. Which means you have to knock me out. Which emotional could not just took my baby. And I’m gonna knock so very like since I was like, no. So then they sent in a different after. Finally, the person who came out got cleaned out. They all my vitals were fine. And then my mom walked in, which

spk_2:   32:00
that was the whole first. Yes. And that was the

spk_3:   32:05
moment that I just started crying cause she boxing. She just

spk_4:   32:11
gave you mom hug that you need in

spk_3:   32:13
that moment. At that point, I had seen Steve Hunt like issues such a world wind. And my mom was heading to the cabin that we can with my hands. So she wasn’t there. She was almost hurt happen. And I wasn’t expecting to see her for a while because it’s quite a drive. But she

spk_2:   32:32
showed up, walked in right when I needed her e I brought cleanings. I knew. And, uh, she just gave me that big mom hug and, like Southern vervet cried. And then the

spk_3:   32:52
doctor came in and first, and she says to me like, It’s not your fault. There’s nothing you could have done to keep him in like it’s not your fault, which they obviously know. Mom stayed here because you just have this. I failed. I failed

spk_2:   33:09
my child. I failed. Being the mom I

spk_3:   33:12
was supposed to be to keep my babies. If Steve had calm and brought me like I was like, How biggest. See, like because I

spk_2:   33:21
was out of the

spk_3:   33:23
room. So Stephen come And when he had gotten to the hospital is like, I don’t know if I’m in the right place. They told me my wife could possibly be here. Could be smart, Alison. And so the guy go up to three like they’re here. And so he went up and repeated to the never senators, your son and your wife are doing great

spk_2:   33:42
a boy like he did. You didn’t know? Yeah. Oh, no. This

spk_3:   33:46
is like the best news. Just hearing the boy and it’s fine. Like like I know isn’t me the Nikki, but he’s a lot like since that’s what matters. And so we all can go in the room. And I’m just looking at like my title baby was £3.11 ounces and 17 inches long, like he was tiny, no fat on them. But the nurses were great, Just very laid back in the field this everyday, but very like I wanted to hold him in that moment. But then it was like I was so tired and you can’t fall asleep holding him and just the emotions of everything. And you just go take a nap and come back and you can come anytime. Night day, Just I’ll come back.

spk_1:   34:34
So, did you spend the night in hospital?

spk_2:   34:36
Yeah. So I was upstairs

spk_3:   34:37
and he was I was a 44 and he was on to And so I was there for two nights as a patient, and then I moved down to the neck. You But I was able to hold them the next morning first, like I don’t know. We need to kind of watch. They said I could, so the emotions happen, Teoh. But they said I could hold it, but is it the whole process, like you after, like lift the lid and move all the court like it’s not just a Hey, here’s your baby. It’s a having to arrange it all to make it works

spk_1:   35:10
like to be trained. I’m not unplugging anything chairs to

spk_3:   35:14
be a certain because you could only be so far because he had IV’s and the oxygen mask. Call a C. C. Pap is, but it’s tiny, and but I was able to hold him for about three hours. I don’t now, but you got hiccups of Cuba’s video from having a little hiccup. Sounds a little squeaky toy. Well, he has his a mask on and and then I put it back. I was still patients I saw go upstairs like get checked out every so often. Eat food. So that night we have been down. There is, um, but his. After holding him, they had that they had up his oxygen tones, and when they hit a certain level, so, like 100% that means the machines giving 100% oxygen, which can be dangerous because it cause blindness. It because hold to blow in their long like there’s a lot of things that could happen and normally the 1st 24 hours of a baby’s life, even when they’re creamy. They tend to do fine because they’re still feeding off the nutrients that the mom had given to placenta. So I said, like he may seem like he’s just like a normal baby, but just know things could get worse. So his oxygen had to keep going up, and they got to 80% that you can’t really hold him. You can’t touch them too much because it can overstimulate. But then, at the same time, it’s important for parents to be touching them. So it’s just that trying to find that balance well, he had gone over stimulated, his oxygen cup, decreasing until they increase the oxygen levels. So this was December 3rd. It was plain, and we were down the nick you for most of the day, and then we had a good night’s sleep as much as you can in a hospital. And so how we have just honestly we’re talking about It’s like 1 50 in the morning. We got a phone call which probably startled. I wasn’t expecting and okay, we just have put hiss level his oxygen level toe 100. So we’re gonna actually intubate him. So that’s putting the tube, this room and a song So he doesn’t have to work so hard at this point. It’s just like oxygen blowing his nose. It’s just more work. So we’re gonna do this so less work. They had already been taking X rays. Well, sick. When you out like a finger, your fingers hurt and they do low grade X ray. Just a watch his longs to see even can physically watch the development through that just to see mentally, Do you want to come down and watch or where you find if we just get started? My call. Just pump it all come down a little bit. So it’s December 4th, which is my daughter’s birthday. Doesn’t 17 just means third birthday? And so there was emotions of not being with her or waking up with her, any of that. And then I carry a syringe of milk and him. His room was in the back corner. She, like, walk through, there’s different pods, and I walked through 15 walks with, like, general family area all the way to the back room, his second elastin Get their classic, huh? That’s his room and all the lights on, which can overstatement movies and people are running in and out. And so all of a sudden, worst case married. Close your mind like what could this be until I get there? I’m just standing outside the door and one of the nurses look over like Mom’s here, and I’m just crying because he’s the bed is all taken apart. The lights are on. There’s people writing on the door. All these stats and running into now. And he’s just laying there, lifeless and there. I don’t know if you’ve seen in movies where they put masks over people spaces in pumping air. Well, that’s what they were doing. They were called batting, so they were bagging him. Just Teoh keep oxidant talking about what to do next. And they had to call the attending in because I couldn’t get the tube in. They tried four times and I couldn’t get the to bend to interpret them, but he just wasn’t moving. Wasn’t crying like a baby was like, wasn’t flailing his arms, you just laying there. And so they come out. One of them came out, was explaining what had happened to me and that they were waiting for the attending to come in. They had a column in which is the head after school. Then you’re like, Okay, great. Now had Dr Community were coming babies like they can’t handle it. What’s going on?

spk_1:   39:57
You’re just standing up on this kind of like

spk_3:   40:02
now I’m looking at your £3 baby, just lifeless and just praying. I just capacity to save him and help these doctors and nurses and respiratory therapists and other time in all of France followed them. But you are just to be able to do that, do what they know how to dio and the gummy a chair. And they asked if anyone was there that they could call or anyone close. My husband’s upstairs, but I just knew, like for him. But I still wanted to protect him from seeing at all, because it’s hard, like I don’t think he could have handled it. He would have if he had to, but I don’t think he really could have in that moment as he was already going through the motions, like what our baby dies. I was like? No, like he’s upstairs, but he’s sleeping. They had called. The chaplain comes up with me. I thought they just dio

spk_2:   40:59
like I like, put two and

spk_3:   41:01
two together that they don’t normally do that. So I’m texting my mom and then all night, like just telling her I’m scared. I don’t know what’s gonna happen that they were working on him, that he blew a hole in his lungs. iCloud, pneumothorax. He blew a hole in his lung, they drained the air. And then when they took the needle out, it happened again and it just became a urgent situations. Your urgent situation, that his heart rate had dropped his her and moved over like it’s Phil who’s just having with air. And so they said that if he his heart rate had dropped one more time, it would be a code blue, and it was just like all of these things that happened. But I was happy being honest because I wanted aren’t you don’t want them to sugar coat it? I wanted to know what was going on to the attending out there, and they were just talking like, Okay, this is planning. We’re gonna try this, But we need to know that Plan B will work if Plan A does not work just going back and forth and talking. And I’m just listen to it all in, like the chaplains shouldn’t talk me what I’m like. I don’t care what you say there was one will make you have asked me where I find my hope and like first, that’s an interesting question. But then I stopped for a second. I was like, You know, I look like I find my hope guy like he is my hope and I know he’s there, which was true. I do believe God is in control of every situation. He knows our days. He knows everything about us. And so Aversa reminding that was songs 1 21 1 and two. I lift my eyes up to the hills. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the ward who made heaven it after sometimes attending. Once they got him intubated, then just like or trust to been to keep the extra air that’s blowing through the whole along from filling. So there’s a tube in his chest, on others to in his room, and so they attending? When she was done, she actually came and sat with me and just talked with me like she just entertain questions I had and was very honest about how things were going on. She explained to me that he would most likely be on the ventilator for at least two weeks if not longer. He was on morphine to help with pain, for having a chest two in his chest. And in this time, I wouldn’t be able to hold him and would be on very limited touch because it could overstimulate him. And so I just decided during this time I was just gonna start journaling through Facebook because so many people were asking me what was going on. I just figure this is the fastest way, and it we’ll all be there so I can look back. I could see how God was working through these situations. And when trauma happens, you’ll always remember all the details. So every day, every few days I just keep posted, updated it if I didn’t post. People are like did you? I did something that happened when I heard him say they look fine, but so

spk_1:   44:22
I remember following along very closely hanging on your every word, the reports that you were just beautiful, the little pictures. I can still remember the picture that was so moving just being with you and mops You know, our mothers, a preschool group and just feeling like we were all going through that together with you and you being so close to me and my family, I just I really affected me. Does prank free every day in between seeing his little sweet pictures and the whole family

spk_3:   44:55
well. And it was through that that many people found out about what was going on and then also would reach out and ask just how they could pray for me or on their ask how they could pray. And I just asked for peace. I just needed peace while we’re there. Peace, knowing that God is taking care of us, that the doctors and nurses knew what they were doing and even being in that situation where I saw them working on him gave me a more trust because,

spk_2:   45:25
like I could’ve

spk_3:   45:26
been upstairs and heard it secondhand, it would’ve been completely different, but I often asked like Why did I come down at that time. Why I have to see that. And it just makes me realize now watching that go on, I had a more understanding of what they dio and I was able to see how God was working and I could feel it. I could feel people’s prayers and I could like you. I did feel peace, even though it was very stressful situation. I was still a piece on, were there. We didn’t know how long we’re gonna be there. They said expect to be there close duty. Well, his due date was 10 weeks away. A long time to be in the hospital. Many times you lost, it would be home for Christmas because this is December, not Christmas. My birthday is in January. All these events at we knew it would be a nick. You’re just learning to have our life there in that that was our life. We cut out a lot of things. I did continue to go to mops just because I I needed that time. I needed to do this and it wasn’t easy. I only want to church maybe once or twice. It’s like I just had too much anxiety to be gone too much, and it was during feeding times. And when we do around, where they update you on what’s going on? So at this point, I have decided to keep the journal through Facebook, and it’s also a good reminder. Every year will pop up with what was going on so I can look back, just praise God for what we went through, but also what he did. And we went out for a Josephine’s birthday because something we had planned, like six months of the point p J. Mess live, and I debate if I should go. But I did first on her birthday. We’re all going on the family, which was the first time leaving the hospital without my child and just see emotions that, like seeing people walk out their car seats with their newborn. And I was standing there after handed and know that I was leaving. Part of me behind was heart, but then I also had to celebrate my daughter’s birthday, celebrate for a life and her, and it was six o’clock at night before I saw her on her birthday, which she wouldn’t remember. She may still talked about now, but something. So the next day we also announced that I was debating if I should go. But ever, really? Because at that point, we still on the ventilator. He was also Billy Rubin Lights. So the blue light so I couldn’t hold him. All I could do was sit in the room and my mom came and sat with him while I would out picking a mask and try to just have that moment with them. We we just brought back from Josephine and Conrad stayed with my in laws because it was weight in that time, and I just remember looking at them and how happy they were. And there was a moment like when the kids normal often implies that there was pushback. But your belt is there, can I can’t put up with you. And I remember like going to block her, too stop from pushing. And I just felt this guilt because I I almost forgot that already had him, and it was like the moment

spk_2:   48:43
because I was

spk_3:   48:44
just enjoying time being with him, and it was like that. I like crying up. He came asked, but just like, forget that I had a baby and something for God. It was just like just instinct. Like, Oh, you can’t push back to fire Just seeing their smiling faces in the excitement that I was there with them. I get back and it was about 11 ish. 10 30 11 at night. Get back to the hospital. I state every night in the hospital. I go home during the day for a couple hours after lunch and get them down for bed and stuff. But I could not stay the night at home. Just anxiety would be With that, I closed my eyes and hear beeping and the hospital life, and I just I couldn’t There

spk_2:   49:37
was no plan

spk_3:   49:37
and me being home while my kids were sleeping. I might as well take the time to be there during the night. So I got him back. They explained it. We don’t know how to answer what has happened. But just after it was about 44 hours on the vent. Remember, this was beyond it for about three weeks. They were taking it out because really, he’s healed and they took an extra dimension. We can’t explain why, but he doesn’t need to be alive anymore. and we don’t need to have a chest tube anymore. God, physically they call him the Miracle baby because anything like all, would you take this on it? Did they owe expect this but didn’t act? So just after 44 hours, they were able to take him off event and put him on The calm, nasal cop feels it’s like those problems that go in there knows too much oxygen. So he’s on oxygen a total of 10 days instead of the three plus weeks but 10 days total for the CPAP, the intubation

spk_1:   50:37
is a man’s

spk_3:   50:38
nasal fabulous, which even that probably Goodman last because you take it out and be honest for half

spk_2:   50:43
the time. That’s not helping at all. Don’t need

spk_3:   50:47
that, Munich. Also just being on oxygen. There’s a lot of risks and he didn’t have any of them. He we haven’t eye exam and didn’t tell me like, Okay, we’re gonna have 2 to 3 times while you’re here. He may end up having time glasses cause being on oxygen can cause them to go blind or like there I say they didn’t want a night. His eyes were developed like he’s fine. We don’t know why, but count yourself lucky. Like this doesn’t happen very often. His kidneys were completely fine, but if we did not go to office is we would not know that he was coming early, which I wouldn’t have those Jared trucks, which this whole long getting a hole in it would have been way we were just watching God healed him and protect him. And many nights I just remember in those except in the early days, just standing over his isolated because I couldn’t just take him out whenever but standing over it and just praying for him. It wasn’t easy. Reach Mahan. It all I could really do is just pray for him. And as a mom, you want to healing rays. You want to fix the problem, and there’s just some things you can’t fit right now. He’s 21 months old. He learned toe walk this

spk_2:   52:00
last week. You sure you wanna walk right now? The only real side

spk_3:   52:07
effect has his disclosure, which is Yeah, spirits fluids, which we didn’t know until he was 15 17 months old. It’s pretty severe, but he’s never had a manga format, which they’ve said it’s a miracle has never had pneumonia for how much he aspirated, and all we have to do is thick in his milk. So it has been, like chilled. If that’s all we’re facing for having a pre me 10 weeks Hurley, we can’t

spk_1:   52:34
sell like a miracle. Exactly what you said.

spk_2:   52:38
It was kind of

spk_3:   52:38
unexpectedly 20 to expect a couple more days like we knew were closed on my birthday. Very well. Take out his feeding tube and he’s strictly nurse. He refused the bottle, which is another thing like no baby school home of bottles and even the nurses were trailing. Oh, we’re professionals. Wouldn’t get any baby to do this. Now

spk_2:   52:58
this doesn’t think. Sit and sew it wishes like, which is your love nursing. Another little blessed family have had

spk_3:   53:05
to take bottles or took bottle until I stopped nursing, which was normally at least 12 13 months old. So it

spk_2:   53:14
was kind of nice,

spk_3:   53:15
like, Oh, I am needed. He just wants me, and I am the only one who could

spk_2:   53:19
feed it. So it was

spk_3:   53:20
like that body moment the last night, which wouldn’t know. Last night, Steven decided to go back to work because he had been for five weeks, and he’s like, I just need some normalcy like I hate

spk_2:   53:32
this job is really hard. Have you seen my job? My job is way easier. This, like I need a break

spk_3:   53:40
and just needs something normal and back toe something he was used to because he went from working full time to being home with three kids full time, and I had it slowly like one kid came

spk_2:   53:57
right and it wasn’t like Here’s three kids owned, by

spk_3:   54:00
the way, I’m not gonna be here. So learning bedtime routines and

spk_2:   54:03
breakfast, what they like putting away clothes and laundry. That’s nothing that might not have a lot of it

spk_3:   54:12
was a lot for him would be for anyone being thrown. Here’s three kids full time all the time and also trying to come visit Nick. You see your other baby? I was sober for his work allowed from the time he went back to work like two days. Well, the next morning, and they come in at something like

spk_2:   54:30
So you going today,

spk_3:   54:32
which Steve wasn’t there like no one was there with me and just like way, I can’t mentally prepare for this like I knew it was coming. I mean, he’s been monitors his whole life. And now you’re saying like, you can just come off the monitor. I’m fully responsible for this tiny baby. A few sure that everything’s okay

spk_2:   54:52
because it was one

spk_3:   54:53
night where I like I go to sleep and his monitor showing off, and you normally wait about 10 seconds to let them figure it out. You don’t always want to stimulate them by tucking them, or their body will stop doing on its own. And he didn’t come out of it when they turned the lights. Hunks were in bed. He was actually blue because he have reflex and was freedom. And so if we weren’t there, I wouldn’t know because I was

spk_2:   55:22
sleeping you want? But I’m honor.

spk_3:   55:24
So, like you’re gonna take him off. This thing that I know is happening, like walking in and

spk_1:   55:29
and yet you are her little stressed and worried because in

spk_2:   55:32
general way had the excitement

spk_3:   55:34
of home. But then it was Oh, you’re like really sending me home. We did the car seat test, and by 11 o’clock,

spk_2:   55:43
all right, you go. And so during his

spk_3:   55:46
car, seat test on the packing of our room. Day 48 had been there for 40 days. 48 days were there. Josephine’s Birthday, Christmas Eve Christmas, New Year’s My Mom’s Birthday and My Birthday and we went home with my nephew. Spurred that January 19 doesn’t 18 we got home. And so while he was doing the car seat, test our car and ready to go and I walked out of the Nikki myself, which wasn’t really high. Stephen, I bring we bring our get home and the kids, we’re at my in laws house and Steve was getting our work, okay, But I’m leaving now. And so he was like, OK, so you can get someone to cover for him and he worked down sells. It wasn’t super close. I came home to an empty help. I didn’t have that with the kids being there, my husband being me or us all driving the hospital together. It was just bounded out and almost like you’re getting evicted from your home, which sounds weird, but it didn’t have time to process. It definitely was hard and emotionally. It really hit me. We were warned about Nick. You PTSD cry all the time. I have nightmares about people dying, even though he was there of things that happened in the Mikelic with his name, with our acts or things like that, and I literally was crying. But that was in the article. We should be happy we’re home, and I just put it like being a shower room, crying to be making food, crying, driving on a road, crying like anything triggered it. If I saw an ambulance and the lights that would trigger it, it just took me a while to realize I’m not doing so great. And there is a problem here. Steve would come into the room and start talking about what I am trying to sleep. I’m so tired. I know you’re actually sitting over the baby’s best in its staring at him, and I didn’t know reality and dreams were just mixed together, and I couldn’t figure out which one was which anymore. It just started taking over my life, taking over this time that I should be joining of having our family all together and so one day at life groups that were asking how I was doing. Just just just be honest and I was like, honestly afternoon, So great. Until I explained until my pastor hook me up with a counselor, set me up with Counselor A C C. Which helps so much and I have never gone before. I didn’t really know what to expect, and but it was really just a safe place to be. She didn’t know You shouldn’t know anything that happened. She knew God, God, she helped give me tips for Bible verses to memorize. And so, like, if I woke up in a panic, they have these verses on current. So I just read them and were the truth instead of these lies on a brain and heart which start telling me. And so it was. I wouldn’t prefer months 56 months until I came to camp last summer and I met with her weekly and I just started doubting my police in God, like, how can I say I’m a Christian and not trust him with everything in me, every situation and oh, yes, you can have this part my life. But my kids are mine. Do you really love them as much as I can? You really take care of them like I can. And just trying to like, I almost don’t my salvation and where had been like I had never gotten to that point of just downloading that was in a savior had this relationship because how can you say, wouldn’t be questioning who God is, who just saved from a child who just healed him and has been taking care of us? That’s what she like. Help walk me through it, just like ask those questions. Will Do you believe your center? Do you believe God save you from your sins? Do you believe that you won’t wants your salvation and just we are humans and you’re gonna question we are gonna doubt, And that doesn’t mean we’re not saved. And so that really helped a lot. And she is help me work through. Do not take the situation, put in a box and look at every angle of all the what ifs because there’s one of stone. Because pasa and got already did it find anything? But what if what is the worst thing that could happen? Does that change your goddess? No, it doesn’t change. Who got is if you live? He’s still the same God. He’s still sovereign. He still has a plan for us, and he still loves and cares for us. And he allowed Hugo to survive and allowed me to go through every situation, allowed me to see it first hand and have these amazing nurses. So it was just It

spk_2:   1:0:44
was a long process,

spk_3:   1:0:45
but it just kind of clipped and really when we just talked about sovereignty of God just really helped help, man, like one day. Okay, God has this and he loves my kids and more than I could even love. And that’s hard to fathom. Someone else loves kids more than I could. There’s still moments like even now I still catch myself in what ifs when I have to go back. Just remember this summer you got just what he’s done and try to remember those verses that given me and just go through because I’ll still have name errors are wake up and just being pregnant now and just things ready that goes with it. So just realizing everything that’s happened has happened for the glory of God, the ones we got past all bad life starts seeming normal again. We had another major family that happened where Josephine almost round. And it was horrible. I went to one on one Bible study and I asked people if they could watch my kids. They love them. They washed before, and it was like being our so really, what could happen. Our clock happened now, but so I went to the one on Bible study and I was gonna They were gonna take him swimming, which they’ve done before. You should go, Miss Simpson go swimming with them because the kids asking me doing No, I just go get them. I’m only a mile from that self driving five miles home. Go get them. And in a distantly I saw an ambulance, which again is like the whole triggered hit effort thing and see ambulances I’ll just pray for therefore, but also just for this. I’ve got a feeling again that it was right near where my kids were, but I’m gonna hope that it’s not. There was in the same parking lot of the hotel that they were at. There’s an urgent care and there’s a doctor’s office. Maybe it’s for them. And so I’m sitting in a light. They see the lights on and turns into that parking lot was this for pray for safety for them. And then I pull a nose. This for one kid. I see the paramedics and then they point me. So run in there and it was Josephine. And she’s just limp and not responding. And they have around the checking her pulse and heart monitor that I just and she just Momi like just she is not opening her. I should not like taking. Can you move your hand? She wasn’t doing anything. She was just lived and moaning, and I just grabbed her and tell her I’m there and like baking her to open her eyes and no one knew what happened. They just like she ended up in the water. We don’t know if you like her head at this point. I assumed she had a life jacket on because I sent them all five jackets and we’re

spk_2:   1:3:49
just trying to figure

spk_3:   1:3:50
out how she and help in the water and taking in water because your life get flow. And so they’re tracking her head wounds. We don’t see any outside appearance of injury. If you like a steak brand, we’ll take her and like like she’s obviously not normal like something funny. We get the ambulance and I’m trying to call Steve because he was at work and he needed answers. So I called my sister to call the hospital. He works at Children’s and call the hospital to tell him that were headed to providence with Josephine that she almost drowned. We don’t know what happened. And so we get in there and they have her on oxygen and her oxygen levels were in the low eighties. And so, um, what happened there trying to figure out how much water foods in the lungs or has water So there X rays and scans and we had to hold her down. And it was about an hour after, Like I got that. She finally start opening her eyes, but she started screaming and penetrated leg down, which was the pressure of the water on her. They told me that approx agenda start going up, they were gonna have to intubate her, which I know what that means because we went through. If you go, they have to intubate her and center Harborview because that’s where emergencies go. Trauma cases. But if our oxygen it goes up we could go to Children’s. And so we one of the scans, the unhooked her like from monitor. And when they hooked back up after even saying this and Steve, I thought that at this point we explained to him so it wasn’t like I was just hearing things. They explained him and they her oxygen level. Olsen went to the nineties, which was okay. Now we can take her to Children’s, but she still wasn’t responding much was just screaming at this point, like in pain, And we did for now when she was at the hotel. When they got her out, they said she fell asleep, which wasn’t that you fell asleep. It’s that she was passing out from not being like Oxidant. That part was just scary to think about it and just like, Well, she’s not sleeping. She’s passing out because you can’t breathe. And so they put her on oxygen on the staff, were working on her, and then her oxygen raised up to the nineties. They were taking X rays and sea teas, and just checking for any brain injuries or anything that makes your brain activity was going when we’re getting ready to go to Children’s. She had have throwing up a ton of water, and that’s when she started, like waking up and less screaming because when they laid her down, all that pressure of the water on her, which never actually got into her lungs. It was just like sitting on until just the pain of being in her stomach and being on top. But she was still crying in pain hurt, and I went with one with a pyramid, it or it was a nurse. And then we look over at Josephine. She was like looking up at the lights. But her mouth is all swollen and droopy, and she’s just swollen and

spk_1:   1:7:04
must have been so scared for using a little sweetie, your only daughter looking.

spk_3:   1:7:08
It was very frightening when she was sitting there. Go. I should ask her. She remembers what happened, and she just not have Yes, And what can you tell me? I took off my life jacket because I wanted to swim, and I went underwater and I saw Jethro and I grabbed on to him, and then I didn’t come up, and that was actually the first time we heard that she didn’t have life which totally changes the whole situation because

spk_1:   1:7:38
she was just under the care of people that you trust and just something that

spk_3:   1:7:42
happened. I found out that it waas when she grabbed onto Jethro, who was six years old. He was trying to lift her out of the water. And if it wasn’t for him, like he saved her life, he I saw she was struggling and they thought they were just horseplay. We thought they’re just messing around. And it wasn’t till he started struggling to stay up that they realized there was a problem and got in the water. But

spk_2:   1:8:10
that was the first time we have

spk_3:   1:8:11
heard any of that life jackets and heated in her life, which I always like kids at Children’s. They start going over lecturing us on all this water safety. And Steve had asked then how long it takes a kid to drown and they told us 30 seconds to one minute. Wow, just so fast. And it just kind of hit us. No one knows how long she was underwater. No one knows how fast kids could die from that. And it’s such a major thing. And they also informed us that the number one cause of death and kids over car accidents and over cancers and stuff is drawn, whether it’s drowning in bathrooms, running buckets of water, they said. Kids drown in the toilet like very minimal, and it just made us realize our baby almost tight. And there’s no reason to why she still other than forget and like, let us have more time with her. And when the nurses and staff would come in and we’re in the rehab area, just cause that’s where there was room. And they have told us that normally when they come in, it’s to set up their poop limits for kids to learn to walk when they see a droning or near dhoni brain damage or any of that, they’re not coming into distrust. Patient. Less than 24 hours later, she walked out of there. I mean, we had ice cream for breakfast cause you go through that, you get whatever you want for breakfast. We think I

spk_2:   1:9:49
scream, You scream. We all scream for ice cream.

spk_3:   1:9:52
It just just made me so thankful. And I was able to use those. Resource is I was given through counseling to really process and work through it. When I was drunk, going into the what ifs. What if she did? I would have this happen or like one of effort and savor and or even what if I just can’t old? When Steve found out he had a little work with my what did I just cancel my Bible study? I didn’t have to go have like a lynx. I’d like to have that alone time. I like toe have adult time, and it just It was really hard. Not like blame yourself for things to happen, But there’s nothing we could do to change what had happened. And so once again, we just told how much of a miracle waas and how someone must be watching out for her and like Goddess, because there’s no reason why she’s still alive. So after we’re home, I had asked Fo because at that point I knew that he was going. How did you know Josephine needed help? How did you know? As a six year old, just a process like, Oh, someone’s in trouble. Help. And he just told me like she was doing funny things with her

spk_4:   1:11:02
hair. Would you be

spk_3:   1:11:04
interested in five days. What was floating up Funny. And she was doing that going back and forth on her toes, which are all science of someone dragged at the bottom of a pool going up and down. And little does he really realize that he was watching her drowned. And I hope he never really realizes that if he didn’t, she would have died. And he saved her life. And he is her Supergirl. He took action and in the end results and it positively. I just

spk_2:   1:11:40
had a lot of emotion, set us

spk_4:   1:11:41
again. We were happy that she was alive and that we still had our baby girl on Nothing like long term was there. But we’re also very angry at the people who we trusted with our kids that they neglected, neglected toe watch them, that it almost cost one of our kids their life. And later we found out that she had taken her life tracking off, but figured they later we found out that they knew she took her life jacket off the figure it should be okay. And then they thought that the kids were just horse playing, but really in water could shouldn’t be horse playing. That shouldn’t even be an option. And neither of them, they just figured they weren’t in danger. They just thought they were playing. And through this I had to work through forgiveness and work through for giving them and what they did. But it didn’t have to trust them. It didn’t mean that everything was gonna be fine. And it’s okay to be angry. It’s OK, should not be okay with what happened. And that trust and like, forgiveness doesn’t go together. Three. Start working through the forgiveness part. It’s like they didn’t purposely park. It’s in danger. If they didn’t feel that go, let’s see what bad things could happen. It just things happen and they love our kids. They wouldn’t purposely do anything to harm them. It’s a mistake that could have cost our daughter her life and forgiving them, didn’t mean had to trust them again. And that part we were okay with. And it’s something that they’ve had to earn back. And I wouldn’t always say we’re back to the trust part or more cautious, but we’ve gotten past, like, the anger phase. But then, even being home, we did cry a lot. Um, we would wake up in the middle of night again or go check on her or have nightmares again that something went wrong. And when many nights we would end up, one of us would end up in her bed like Steve, or I just need to just go cuddle her.

spk_2:   1:13:55
She didn’t always know were there, but I would just go climb on dot bunk and go leave. I’m like So

spk_4:   1:14:01
So we woke up in one of us, wasn’t there. It was like there Probably. Josephine said we’re grateful that God allowed us to have another day with her and more time. And my biggest fear as a mom is having one of my kids die before me. But God could have called her home that day, and it wouldn’t have changed who he is. He is the same as he was yesterday, today and tomorrow. And he loves my kids and cares for them through my miscarriages. For Hugo, through Josephine, I was able to find comfort and hope that my heavenly father was there taking care of all of it, knowing that he’s sovereign giggle, knowing in control in all things that he does. He allows for his gorgeous. No matter what God brings into our life, I will praise him because he is all good, all wise and all powerful and acts for his glory right now, being pregnant again, it definitely brings a lot of emotions. And just that moment, because we weren’t really planning to be pregnant. That’s his time where all the other ones we’ve planned and it it was a lot of fear, even thinking of the idea of having another pregnancy. And we just remind ourselves every day that God knows the day this baby is coming. God knows what adventure journey we’re gonna go through again. And I’ve had people ask me if it brings on anxiety or the thought of having more kids. It’s scary and yeah, yes, it is like you. You never know if you’re gonna go through another miscarriage. You never know if you’re gonna go through having another premium or if you’re gonna make it to term. And so it was like each step of pregnancy husband scary. And as I approached the day that I had Hugo and that week our anxiety was going crazy and we just had to keep stopping and praying about it and be like, you know, God has this pregnancy in his And but then

spk_1:   1:16:00
you’re doing eight weeks from today. Hateley. Praise the Lord. It’s already past Hugo’s by two weeks.

spk_4:   1:16:07
Yeah, um, a week in two days

spk_1:   1:16:09
of the week. In two days, we want more, We want more,

spk_4:   1:16:12
but yeah, And every day we wake up like one day further That day is better than the day before. So things were looking good and we pray we make a father. But if we don’t, we know the the thought of being in the neck you again was overwhelming. But we were able to stop and think like even though we don’t think we go through it again, we really can. We could get through it again. Might not be ideal in my not hit. Her plans toe have to be there again, but we will get through it. I’m sure we’ll learn a lot more things along the way. Just another journey that God has for us, if that’s the path that we end up having to take. And so I’m gonna finish with the verse its second Corinthians 1334 Blessed be the God and father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the father of Mercies and God of all comfort who comforts us in all our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any the affliction with a comfort with which we ourselves are comforted

spk_1:   1:17:15
by God’s praise. The Lord impressed in God’s gonna use your story to comfort Meaning out there going through lots of things.

spk_0:   1:17:25
Here is your p s. Some extras about our guests.

spk_1:   1:17:31
Are you ready for some questions? Always. One thing I know about you, Elizabeth Issue remember Crazy details. What was your best high school basketball game

spk_4:   1:17:42
when I scored 19 points and one of them from the free throw line one. It’s a lot of threw me the ball down farm out of bounds And at the buzzer I grabbed and

spk_2:   1:17:53
tossed it up under my granny shot had made it at the buzzer and that when I scored 19 points

spk_1:   1:17:59
a superpower you wish you

spk_4:   1:18:01
had to clean in my sleep.

spk_1:   1:18:06
Yeah, I would like that, Teoh. Okay, this is a funny question that I will never ask somebody else again. But I will ask you Because I remember this about you. How many days until your birthday

spk_4:   1:18:21
Day. 133 days.

spk_1:   1:18:23
Your favorite mommy gadget.

spk_4:   1:18:25
My favorite Monty gadget would definitely be baby carrying. So I have, like, ring slings or Kantra packs it. You’re like front packs cause I love holding my babies all the time. I have times that I put one on the front and one on the back. Just so I think, keep him closer and then be able to, like, go over a few shopping about running.

spk_2:   1:18:45
I feel like I

spk_1:   1:18:46
remember seeing you walking it mobster

spk_2:   1:18:47
like, Hi, Meg. You have one captain to hack to the front. One pack to the back,

spk_1:   1:18:53
and you’re pretty

spk_2:   1:18:54
do in the stroller. I’m like with a big smile on

spk_1:   1:18:57
your face. Halftime, motherhood, motherhood, love. So I don’t know how you have time to do this, Elizabeth, but I know you have as sewing businesses. What inspired that? And how’s that going?

spk_4:   1:19:10
So when Conrad was a baby, my third, I decided I need to pick up a hobby. Three kids wasn’t enough, and my friend and I just slowly picked up sewing. We started a small business together. So sweet amity. I’m the only one doing it now, but it’s

spk_2:   1:19:28
going to send

spk_4:   1:19:29
me. That’s not supposed to make a full time job. It’s more fun. Maya fabric addiction. So I just love coming and selling.

spk_1:   1:19:38
You made the cutest little things. Like I remember when all the kids have these little cute little Star Wars matching pajamas. Dream pajamas. Do you have any secrets to helping siblings get along?

spk_4:   1:19:50
Realize that you’re not always right?

spk_2:   1:19:52
Yeah,

spk_4:   1:19:54
and take out technology. They seem to fight more when video games or TV You’re involved.

spk_1:   1:20:02
You have six siblings. Say one thing quick that you like about your mom, your dad in each of your siblings.

spk_4:   1:20:11
I love that my mom is always there. Whenever I need ER or any of us need. Er she is there. My dad is a big teddy bear. More my favorite things with him was our father daughter dance for our wedding. My wedding. Melissa is a go getter. She actually was. The one who got me into selling to Chelsea is my nerd sister who loves Harry Potter and way love, too. Player Harry Potter games and just goes always a phone call away. She lives in Wyoming, but you know that if you need something, just give her a call on she’ll be there to talk, and many times she’ll message me just asking how things were going. Nick is another go getter. He he likes to like, tinker with everything that you know. If you need help, he’s there to help. Mats always been the carrying one. And then Steven. He his mind is different than like how he’s views things. It’s always what project could I make out of this? I remember when he was younger, he made a Nutcracker like working Nutcracker out of Legos.

spk_1:   1:21:26
What do you love about being from a big family?

spk_4:   1:21:30
I love that you always have people around. There’s always someone there. And then when any tragedies happen or any big things, you’re not alone. You have someone going through the exact same thing with you

spk_1:   1:21:44
totally. And one thing I remember about your family when everyone was still at home, who’s there was a lot of love in your family and that you always invited people, and I remember all in my kids coming over for Easter parties and your mom was very big hearted and always welcoming people. And we felt loved because we hardly got invited anywhere. They it’s

spk_2:   1:22:06
on. She’s like, Come on over And anyone added to the seven. Yeah.

spk_1:   1:22:11
How helpful has it been for you having a church family to come around? You are a mops group to help you.

spk_4:   1:22:17
It has been amazing the love and support that we got going through trials and even now going through the stuff with the pregnancy. And like the scare of having another primi, I have mopped friends, bringing me frozen meals and church friends always asking how they could be praying. And then also when we have you go early, some people came and cleaned our house and we just had so much support from our

spk_3:   1:22:48
mops, called them my mom’s village because they were really there for me. I was a discussion group leader of that time, and so I really had to step out. I was still the leader of my table, but I wasn’t really there emotionally and mentally and physically for them, but they were there for me. The normal food, trained for people who have babies and I don’t know, are gonna be my family’s all over the place. So they set up a uber eats account and people gifted us enough money that it seriously Lasses. When they opened it the last day we were ethnic, you really. We used that lost amount, and it was just amazing. I knew how much money we needed to provide, so Steve could be home with the kids and getting your a few of his parents could get meatballs and I could get meals at the hospital cause I was provided breakfast, but much of dinner or on my Nana. We bring trophies, stuff like that, but having those moments and not having to worry about food. And then our church wrapped all our Christmas presents and they would bring us groceries and lead. Some half keys are code to get in, and they just leave us quick foods like snacks and said that whoever had the kids good crab in half and then a friend for mops on Justin’s birthday brought us cupcakes and little gifts to give to her. And it was just a huge bus and not have to worry about all that little stuff, because we we always have things we need to dio. But when you’re in the hospital, you don’t always have time to run to the store. And, oh yeah, any cupcakes and birthday candles and things like that because I was still a patient until it was time to go to dinner. And then our church also paid for Josephine’s breath email, so we don’t have to worry about that. They wanted to give us a gift cards to all garden so we could enjoy that time and not worry about the financial I had stopped by Teoh. Pick up something from her house on the way back. P. J masking. She said, Hey, maybe this and she made Cuba this octopus, which at the time was like the same size him. And so now looking back,

spk_2:   1:25:00
Doctor a shrink because he someone figured out.

spk_3:   1:25:03
And then I had another friend who came to visit after that, took pictures while we were there and recorded those memories. I totally cherish those. And should I have to?

spk_4:   1:25:15
It blew us away by how much love and support we got from our mops group in our church family, and it just I highly highly recommend people find those groups and it takes a village to raise a family. And I think we found our village.

spk_1:   1:25:35
What is your favorite quality of? The Lord

spk_4:   1:25:37
is loving this that no matter what we dio, he still loves us and cares. Fake cares breath.

spk_1:   1:25:46
What are you most looking forward to about heaven? It’s no pain or sickness being reunited. Those party guns this’ll wraps up another story of how our great God is at work in our hearts and in our world. To find out more about Elizabeth and this Seattle based podcast follow letters from home on Instagram on her Facebook page, we will post the leak to the article the Marysville Fire Department wrote about Baby Hugo’s birth Second, Corinthians 33 And you

spk_0:   1:26:20
show that you are a letter from Christ delivered by us, right? And not with ink but with the spirit of the living god. No, on tablets of stone, but on tablets of human hearts