Episode 18 Transcript

spk_0:   0:00
so many different scenarios were going through my mind. I was thinking, OK, what if he’s paralyzed somewhere? What if he’s in a coma somewhere? What does this look like? And for the future of us, What what am I gonna find? And it was really surreal.

spk_1:   0:18
And now for the next episode of Letters from home, sending encouragement to your doorstep by capturing the heartbeat of God’s people one story at a time. Today we have part two of our series from tragedy Hope Blooms. Part one was Episode 16 with Jen. I Can Horst in her story how God used the collision that changed her life to raise up a new ministry. Accidental Hope, podcast and community In Part two. Today’s guest had a clear vision from God at 16 that took her on a journey of north, where she meets the love of her life. As they are enjoying and experiencing the many blessings and trials of marriage and parenthood. Their lives change suddenly in a day she walks us through her tragedy and beyond. All the while anchor to the God who brings her home. Heidi. Coffee from tragedy Hope blooms Part two Heidi, I’m so happy to have you on the podcast today. I am thankful

spk_2:   1:23
that we’ve been able

spk_1:   1:24
to be in the same mom’s

spk_2:   1:26
prayer time. For what? About eight years.

spk_0:   1:29
Yes, yeah,

spk_2:   1:30
it’s such a blessing knowing you and your family and your son and my center friends and we both have older kids and younger kids. It’s been such a blessing. And most recently, for the first time in 30 years of marriage, we were able to remodel for the first time. And I knew that you had a landscape design business, and I wanted to encourage and support you. So I thought, Well, just ask her. And well, we’ve gotten so many compliments on her home. You’ve done such a beautiful job designing it. Everyone loves her house.

spk_3:   2:06
Oh, thank you so much.

spk_0:   2:08
It was so fun to work with you.

spk_2:   2:10
You’re so talented, Heidi. But more more than that, I love your heart for the Lord and your story that you have. And God’s done so many great things in your life and in your family. And thanks for coming on to share that today.

spk_0:   2:24
Thanks for having me, Meg.

spk_2:   2:26
Can you tell us a little about your upbringing?

spk_0:   2:29
I was raised in a Christian home in Southern California. Both my grand parents were also Christian, so that was great. I lived in a little town called Well, he was a city called Alhambra. That was the first house I remember living in. And I had something really bad happened to me when I was four years old, and so we ended up relocating. It was bad enough that we moved to another town and were there for five years. And then I moved again to a place called 1000 Oaks.

spk_2:   3:08
So where did your faith story begin?

spk_0:   3:11
I don’t think I can’t really pinpoint a time when I officially gave myself my life to the Lord part of when that really bad thing happened to me when I was four years old. I really felt the Lord’s

spk_3:   3:27
presence in my life at that

spk_0:   3:29
time, and I felt that he could comfort me and he was with me. And it was, um I just knew I could trust him, and I knew that he loved me and cared for me. So, um, and I just felt that being with the different moves that we made and where for the Lord had taken me. I felt like he was always close.

spk_2:   3:54
Even at age four, you remember feeling kind of a sense of God’s presence?

spk_0:   3:58
Yes, definitely, even at such a young age. And that’s why I don’t think any time spent with little kids is a waste of time because their little hearts such so open. And I remember my heart really loving the Lord, even at each four.

spk_2:   4:17
Well, that’s so precious. Heidi. I totally agree. I think working with youth, even the shy, clammy ones, they’re all gonna grow up. They’re gonna be men and women someday, and they’re not gonna always be a shy person. And all that time really, really adds up. What were you, like, us a little girl?

spk_3:   4:38
I would say

spk_0:   4:39
I was pretty quiet. I was pretty obedient. I don’t think, Uh, my parents probably didn’t realize how good they had it compared. Teoh mother issues. I was pretty easy going and pretty adaptable.

spk_2:   4:58
Any important things before you when you miss Gavin?

spk_0:   5:01
Yeah, I What? I was in high school when I was a junior in high school. The Lord gave me a vision of what? The future of my life would be like. And I have to say that living in 1000 Oaks was a super fun town to live in a za teenager because we were close to the beach. And so we my my friends and I went to the beach a lot and have a lot of fun. And and I had some wonderful friends, but the Lord gave me a I don’t I feel like the word vision is a strong word, but but it kind of waas It was a picture of what my life would look like if I stayed in California and the picture waas of a a swamp. That was where the water was stagnant. It wasn’t going anywhere and just kind of stinky scum growing on top. And, you know, life can still happen. And it’s warm, but not the kind of life I wanted. And I felt that that would that the Lord was saying, This is what’s gonna happen. This is a picture of your life if you stay here. So he he, uh, put on my heart to start looking about changing where I waas. And so, um, I had looked into maybe going abroad and doing a year of high school abroad. But then I found out. But I did have toe make up a year when I got back, and I did not want to do that. So I looked into coming to Washington. And now when I was in junior high, I have saved money to fly up and visit my aunt, who had moved upto Washington from Southern California. The end was able to fly up there, and I just loved it in Washington. It was just so beautiful. And being from California, you know, where rainy days are something really special in California. So when I came up here and it was like, Oh, every day is so special in Washington And so I just looked and I was just so green. It was really a beautiful and throw. So as a junior in high school, I was 16 at the time. When I was, the Lord kind of showed me this. And so I decided to ask my Aunt Gracie if I could move up to Washington and finish high school out and stayed with her. And she said yes. And so I talked with my parents about about it, and this is really what made me realize that this was from the Lord, that my parents were even open toe letting me do this because it I am sure it broke their hearts that I wanted to leave home. And of course, my younger sister was really upset about it. But the fact that they said I could do it is was just confirmation that this was from the Lord. And then I asked, I asked my friend if she would drive up with me and I have a little yellow bug at the time and and then another confirmation was that her parents let her do that. It’s so Oh, we just that summer after my junior year. I was 17 at the time, and we just packed up my little yellow bug and drove up to Washington and we camped out on the way. It was pretty fun.

spk_2:   8:32
That’s pretty amazing. That 16 you could decide that and that you had that vision of a swamp. I mean, like, that’s pretty amazing for a kid to have a vision so clearly. And that must have been quite a change moving up here. What was it like when you got up with your Aunt Gracie and your senior year.

spk_0:   8:53
Well, my aunt worked at a church in Seattle called Calvary Fellowship. She was the Children’s minister there, and so, you know, and living with Gracie was really great because she certainly lived up to her name of Grace because she was very, very gracious to everybody she met. And, um, she really had a love for people and Children. When I moved up here, I got involved with Calvary Fellowships Friday night programme, which at that time was called School of Discipleship, and I signed up for a class that first class I wrote down. I made a list of everybody in the class because that was one of the things when I started a new place. I kind of wanted to reinvent myself a little bit because, like I said, I could. I was kind of quiet, and I wanted to be a little bit more outgoing, and I wanted to better at remembering people’s names and that kind of thing. So at that class, I wrote down everybody’s name in a little description by them. A few months later, Gracie was telling me about this great preschool teacher that was teaching Sunday school and that the parents and the kids just loved him. And when I finally got introduced to him, it turned out he was from He was one of the guys from in my class and his name was Gavin coffee and he waas great with people. He was a real people person. And so Gracie asked him to be her assistant Income on Traffic Calvary Fellowship. So he did.

spk_2:   10:33
Was she may be playing matchmaker just a little bit.

spk_3:   10:36
No, I think so. At that time were

spk_0:   10:39
eight years older than me that at the time I was still doing so. Okay, I know different. It would have been, but yeah, we became really great friends because we did a lot of racy that hosted a lot of events and a lot of getaways that she would take of her leaders away on. And so we

spk_3:   11:00
got to do a lot of fun things together.

spk_2:   11:02
That’s great. So I’m guessing at some point you started dating since that’s your last name.

spk_0:   11:08
Yes, we did. When I was about 20 we started dating and then a year later, we got married. Anything waas is that once we got engaged our engagement with really difficult. There was a lot of I’d say it was a miracle. We got married. There’s a lot. There was a lot of communication issues and and even up until the last week, right before we were getting married, I was just like, you know, you don’t change your stance on this. I cannot marry you. So he did. And once we got married, everything was so much better work. Everything worked out fine. And we were living with, um, Gavin’s brother and sister in law. So Gavin and his brother had bought a house together, and his brother got married exactly four weeks before we did. So we were two sets of newlyweds in this little 1200 square foot home living together. And I I think it was a great experience for us because it’s one of those things were you can really get nit pick me about people you live with, but in the in the scope of life, you know, you ask yourself, Is this really a big enough issue to bring up and then fight? Bring up that What hundreds of things could they bring up about me that they kept quiet about or whatever and and actually, Britain Renee were great to live with. And I’m sure they were very gracious enough bringing up things about us that we could could have been really annoying to them. But it was It was good, because it helped set a precedence with me in my marriage. The same thing. It’s like, you know, there’s little nit picky things that you could really turn into a big deal. But really, is it worth it? You? Most of the time it’s not. It was a really good lesson for me. Toe. Just let things go. I found out we were gonna have a baby our first year of marriage and then Britain. Renee decided to go on the mission field for years, so that worked out really well for all of us. So we had our first child, Marissa, and we named her liberation Larissa Shareece, which her name means good natured. And then she reasons to cherish, because that was something Gavin and I want to make sure we do with each other. And so she’s a living reminder of cherishing one another. And then we had Natalia her name is, Natalia would comfort her name means the one born at Christmas brings us comfort, even though she wasn’t born at Christmas. Really, The one born at Christmas is is the Lord, and that’s what we wanted, you know. So she’s a living reminder of how the Lord brings us comfort, and she really does have the gift of comforting others. After we had our 1st 2 girls and Bretton Renee and ended up coming back from the Mission field, and then they were ended up being able to buy their own place. We have the house, Bartel family and my two cousins. Kyle and Spencer came to live with us when my girls were pretty young and Kyle was six years old and Spencer was just five months old. It was a really challenging time because we were working with We have to work with social workers, and eventually we were able to adopt Spencer, which was fantastic. But Kyle had a different dad than Spencer, so he eventually went to live with that dad. That whole Piri inst was a huge blessing, but a huge heartbreak as well, because we had to let pile go, and that was really hard after he had been with us for a few years, and both Gracie and I had had been involved with Kyle’s life when we were there when he was born and had helped potty trained him. I mean, he spent a lot of time at our house, so it was really, ah, heartbreak time for him to leave. But that whole process really brought Gavin and I super close. We were are each other’s teen because no one else could really relate to what we were going through with having to deal with CPS and social workers and going to court and then and then and then adopting Bentsur. So it was really a uniting time for the two of us. And then we had my son torrent. And then in 2006 I found out that I was pregnant again for our fifth child. Silas, me and a friend of a friend of mine to friends of mine found out that we were pregnant at the same time, and there’s quite a age gap between our final kids and then the kids next to them. We call ourselves a surprise baby club.

spk_2:   16:05
I think it’s a big club. It’s a big club in the world.

spk_0:   16:09
But it was a joyful club. You’re very happy. So yeah, so? So Gavin was really happy We found out we were having a boy. So in 2006 I, Gavin and I had started this junior high group at our church. So and then, out of that, I had started this girl’s group. So I decided to take girls on a an overnight retreat and we went to someone’s cabin and and I was going to be speaking with them about having peace during difficult times. And because I just junior high and high school, there’s a lot of times when you’re just up and down. And I just really wanted these junior high kids and these girls to just I know that no matter what happens, keep going and you know, and the Lord is with you and he’ll give you the piece. And so So we went on this retreat, and I just made it a quick one just a little overnight one, because we had one week left before school started, and I also wanted to take my family camping one last time. So before I left on the girls retreat. I had packed my van. So we have all our camping here, ready to go. So as soon as I got back from the retreat, we jump into the van and go camping.

spk_2:   17:36
None of the kids when it was just you and the girls from church. And you were five months

spk_0:   17:41
pregnant at the time s? Yeah, Yeah, it was Just meet my and my two girls went on it. And then the other junior high girls. Yeah, it was. It was all the junior high girls in my my girls were part that Friday morning on August 18th into 2006 I was bringing driving all the kids home, and I was out one of the girls homes. Well, they were sisters and was dropping their stuff off in. My pastor called me and he asked me if I was sitting down. I was just like what? What are you talking about? John? What’s going on? And he said, I think Gavin’s been in an accident, and I think it’s serious enough that he would have been taken to Harborview, which is the trauma hospital in Seattle. And, uh and I was just I was just stunned. I just remember falling to my knees and immediately. My girls are just like freeze. You know, they were helping on loans if they just freeze and they’re looking at me with their eyes wide. And my friend, the mother of these, the girls I was dropping off, She’s frozen there watching me, and my pastor says, I’m gonna meet you at Harborview. And so So I hung up with him and told my girls that what John had told me, and immediately my friend packed, packed up everyone into her van and drove me toe Harborview and then continued to bring the rest of the girls home. So I got dropped off at Harborview and I found John and we went inside and asked where John? Where Gavin had been taken and they didn’t have any record of him having been admitted. So I started calling other hospitals, and John’s wife was calling other hospitals and nobody had records of him being taken to any of the local hospitals. I even called the 9 11 dispatch, and they I didn’t have any head site Well, so we were just like, Well, what do we do now, and we just decided to go ahead and drive. Go ahead and drive to the accident site.

spk_2:   20:01
How are you feeling? When you what was going through your mind when you’re like, Wait, you said to go to the hospital and there’s what were you thinking? Were you able toe have any conscious thoughts at that time?

spk_0:   20:11
So many different scenarios were going through my mind. I was thinking Okay, Uh, what if he’s paralyzed somewhere? What if he’s in a coma somewhere? What does this look like? And for the future of us, what What am I gonna find? And it was really surreal, cause just not knowing. It’s like something you never expect that you are character in, You know, you watch these movies or you read these books. It’s always happens to somebody else. It’s not It’s not you. And that’s how I felt. That’s like this. This can’t be as bad as it seems. You know, something like this can never wouldn’t happen to me. So, you know, that’s where I think. Well, maybe in the possibility is, maybe he wasn’t hurt. As bad as John had initially thought, because he wasn’t at any of these hospitals.

spk_2:   21:06
Who did he get a call from?

spk_0:   21:08
Well, that’s the interesting story. So we got on the freeway and that’s where John started telling me his story. He had actually stayed home sick and and he was in bed when Gavin called him and they were chatting about some church stuff. So he was on the phone with Gavin when Gavin suddenly said, You know, he’s like, Whoa, whoa! And then John heard this the crash. She heard this horrible crash and he’s he’s on the phone. He’s screaming Gavin’s name and and he’s listening to all this. There’s just chaos going on around. And then he hears voices of people trying toe, you know, coming up to help Gavin. And here’s one guy say, uh Whoa, there’s a lot of blood And he heard someone else say, I don’t think he’s gonna make it. And and that’s when he hung up and called me Eso watch. So the traffic was so bad. I mean, Harborview is in downtown Seattle and where the accident site was about 10 miles north and in shoreline, and, um, the traffic was backed up through Seattle on we were just inching our way along. But we finally got up to the site and the cars have been removed. But but three lanes of traffic were still locked on the interstate because the State Patrol was still doing their investigation. So we pulled off and pulled in there and immediately. Patrolman runs over to us, and when he finds out who I am, starts to tell me what happens. And he said, He’s a Gavin have been driving along and a shelving unit had flown out of the back of ah truck in front of him and landed on the freeway and caused a multi car accident. And that’s when he told me that Gavin have died and I I just got back in the car and in John John started to drive me home, and I just I just I just couldn’t believe that I But there must be a mistake. You know, years I’m still that surreal mode like this. This can’t possibly be happening to me. I mean, we were going

spk_3:   23:52
camping today, but can’t you know, how can this happen?

spk_0:   23:58
So John brought me home, and And if the funny thing is Meg, is that already this was already on the news. So you

spk_3:   24:11
know who watches the news

spk_0:   24:13
at 12 in the 12 o’clock in the middle of the day. But it seemed like everybody was, and suddenly people were calling me. People were already shown up in at our at our house because that it was just that was, like, the thing that the news was talking about.

spk_2:   24:31
They announced his name and everything, or what did they? Apparently, Yeah, apparently going to brush

spk_0:   24:37
because, uh, because already friends were showing up at my house, they had heard about on the news they were there to support. I mean, it was very sweet. My girls came in a few. My friend brought my girls to us after she had dropped off other girls. And so the girls come up in their eyes or why? They’re just like, you know what, And I just I just went up and gave him a hug, and I just said, Dad’s gone and we just We just collapsed right there in the hallway and just cried together. And, um, the Gavin have been on his way to my boys soccer game. They were finishing. They had a little half day of soccer camp that they were finishing up with and had. The funny thing is, is that my mom, you forget how it happened. She rub a premonition to go and pick up. Born. She will, she had heard because people were calling about it. And so that’s how she found out that Gavin had been in an accident. So she went to the soccer field to pick up the boys. They came home and Torin was six years old. The time and Spencer was nine. And so John was still there. So he he took the boys aside and told them what had happened. That was that was our day. We had that week. We had people come, and even that day people came to want to help and my other, the assistant pastor, came and he later told me it was The most heartbreaking thing he ever had to do was to unpack our car from camp, you know, unpack alike, not being equipment and with just heartbreak game. But the Lord is so good and people came and they that clean my house, they just willing to help wherever they could, which was a huge blessing because I was just in this bog, and I don’t even know how how we were able to pull everything together to have his memorial service a week later. Throughout that week, that day and throughout the week, the news people were coming around and coming around. And the reason why is because a law had just recently been passed about, um,

spk_2:   27:18
Maria’s Law.

spk_0:   27:19
Yes, Maria’s Law, which is named after Maria, that it better reaching and it made it a criminal offence if somebody caused injury or fatality because they urban unsecured load. So Gavin was 1st 1 that this happened to since that law had passed Well, so a lot of news people were immediately at our home following upon this. And what was

spk_2:   27:47
that like for the kids? Were the kids. Do you remember how they felt with all the news people around?

spk_0:   27:54
Honestly, I’m not sure how they felt. I’m sure for them it was just a surreal as it was for me. I don’t know. It would be interesting to ask them now if they even remember. You know what was going through your mind when all these news people were coming around? They seemed to take it in stride as well. So I could. My parents lived with us at the time, so they were big help and helping make sure that the kids got bed and that kind I think I am a kind of person that enjoys eating. This just goes to show what grief can dio is that I could not keep anything down. Actually, for months I couldn’t. I could heart eat at all and and even for years after, I couldn’t stand it, even walk into my kitchen. So and so that first I had I was five months pregnant. The time former for last baby Silas and I lost £10 at first week, which is really unusual for a person of my body type. But that just goes to show you know how deep grief can affect somebody. So, uh,

spk_2:   29:12
I’m glad your parents were there. That must have helped lighten your load as faras just looking up for the kids and their emotions and their food needs. And the girls were in middle school.

spk_0:   29:26
Yeah, Marissa was growing into eight rain and Italian was going into sixth grade three days after Gavin’s accident. I was taking my daughter down to get her registered at the middle school. And it was her first time going full time to school because we were We had been homeschooling up till then and she had started taking science classes with seventh grade year at the middle school. And then she was gonna go full time in eighth grade. The media kept come, came around to do stories on the accident, and a lot of them were, and they were trying to empathize with me. Or so they were just like, Oh, don’t you just really hate those guys for, you know, what do you want to see happen to them? Do you want them to have that full year? Are you hoping that they’ll go to jail for a full year so I wouldn’t tell you about the driver of the car was He’s 21 years old, and the and the passenger was his grandfather, who was owner of the construction business set the truck that lost its load belong Teoh. He was 73 And so I’m thinking of my own cousin, who’s about the same age and my own grandfather, and I just I know it wasn’t something that they was a foolish oversight, that they did not secure their load. I know they had to felt, you know, horrible about it. And I just kept thinking of my own grandfather and my own cousin. And and so I told I told these reporters that a quote that Gavin really, really thought was a great quote went like this. It said holding Rudge is like taking poison and waiting for someone else to die. So I told that to the reporters and they were just shocked. And I said, I would rather have this. This man and his grandson, they were both being charged because they have both helped or or didn’t secure the load. They had both been a part of that process.

spk_2:   31:45
So first they were coming around because it was about Maria’s law and they wanted to see how you’re gonna handle things. But then when they heard your sweetheart of forgiveness and you’re trying to really owner govern gallons desire toe, walk in forgiveness and not be bitter,

spk_0:   32:06
and I also I also just saw my kids. They were just they were watching the super carefully, and so I felt like, you know, I can’t just cry any old time I want. And I know I know. Uh, probably some councillors or whatever would probably give me different advice about this. But I I know Whenever I cried in front of the family, it made everyone feel insecure and I could tell. So while I think it’s good to cry in front of people, it’s good that they could see how grieved I waas. I really felt like I had to not give in to that. As often as I probably would have liked Teoh. They were also young, and I wanted them to not have a chip on their shoulder about this and feels scented in their life. I wanted them to be free to go forward in their life and and not have this this awful thing, you know, a grudge or hatred or anything holding them back as I’m looking at them and this is in. This is what I’m telling the reporters about, you know, grudges, air, just not how we’re going to live. When I said that to the reporters, they were just astounded, and then words seemed to get around. A whole slew of then started coming back around again for follow up stories about how I could forgive thes thes. And then, with every court meeting, he had more stories. We come out. I really felt this is just the Lord. He’s so good. I really felt that it would be really hard to be in the position of those two men to have out of something that could have so easily been avoided. Something they neglected to do caused a family to lose a husband and a father and a friend. I had heard that one of them was a Christian, but one of them was not, and I didn’t want them to get lost in despair. So one of the things that I did was, um I made a little quilt for them of a tree with a dove in the middle, and I call it My Treat the Tree of Life Quilt. And that’s what I wrote on the back of it that I Hopefully it was something about that. I hope they can experience the light of life or Jesus or something, something along that way. And I sent it to them that I felt like it was just something like a physical thing for me to do to express my heart that I wasn’t holding a grudge. You know that I forgive them. And I know it was something that they didn’t intend to dio.

spk_2:   35:09
Hi, that’s so beautiful. I I can’t think of a more healing thing to do. And at the time when you could have been so angry and bitter to be so loving and forgiving, did you ever get to talk to those fellows or did you hear back for them? Or did they end up doing a sentence or

spk_0:   35:27
way? I did get together with the grandson and he’s he was pretty torn up about it. And I did see then both in court and the grandfather just really X. He cried and just really expressed how terribly sorry and in pain he waas over what had happened. So and I and I believe them e believe that they really were sorry. And it wasn’t. It was just very bad bad accident. After that, I had so many people that were just so sweet and helping us, and there was many people who wanted to help, and so they approached a neighbor of ours about things that I needed done around the house that maybe they could come and help out with. And so he came up and talked to me about you know, what are some things that need to be done around your house? And thankfully, in our marriage, I was the handy one. So I was kind of on top of

spk_3:   36:31
things. But the two

spk_0:   36:33
things that I that I was out of beyond what I could do that were kind of big issues to me was the roof of our house was really bad shape. We are houses located at the top of a ravine, and I had noticed that the yard looked like it was kind of slipping

spk_3:   36:51
a little bit. Oh,

spk_0:   36:53
you know that there was There was really old, like, little jungle gym that had been there for, I don’t know, decades or something beyond from when we were there, and it was clearly leaning more and more over, you know, it was anchored, Really? So it wasn’t. It was loose and but it was like the hillside

spk_3:   37:12
was leaning over.

spk_0:   37:13
And so I told s So I told my friend I said, Well, I the two things that are really concerning. To me, right are things that I really don’t think volunteers could really help with. And he’s like,

spk_3:   37:26
Well, just

spk_0:   37:27
tell me anyway and we’ll just see what happens. And so I said So I told them and he said, Well, I don’t know about the roof, but I’m a structural engineer. I’ll design a retaining wall and we’ll get volunteers to come in and help out and you’re retaining wall. So that started a year long renovation of our yard, which ended up the whole yard Gut completely erased. AM I got to design it from literally below ground level on up, And that was just a blessed distraction for me. It was the one really great thing was good. Hard work helps you So that fall this is right after Gavin’s accident, they just jumped right on it. And that fall we got a retaining well put in, and, man, I wish I could. Well, I could show you make some time. The anchor that was put into our yard is just a physical reminder of God being an anchor in our life. You planning, but you can’t see it now because it’s it’s covered. But it’s there and it is our yard. The world’s gonna fall apart around us

spk_3:   38:45
before her house slides

spk_0:   38:46
down this hill in November. I’ve never to I list the day after Thanksgiving during a snowstorm, and then two weeks later, a tree fell on our house. Whoa! And it was two days after that retaining wall had been poor on that tree, hit the retaining wall and broke right where and then hit our house and broke again. No, it’s a huge tree. But that retraining

spk_3:   39:22
wall took the brunt of the fall as it was

spk_0:   39:25
the part of the tree that her house went into the attic right above where Silas and I were sleeping and but didn’t actually go through the ceiling of my bedroom. But if that retaining wall hadn’t been there, the tree would have hit my house full force. Oh, my goodness. It was like that is just the hand of the Lord just taking care of us. That tree did not fall on me and my newborn son.

spk_2:   39:51
Praise the Lord. That’s Heidi. That’s amazing.

spk_0:   39:55
Yeah, and in your earlier I had a Garden Memorial party on the anniversary of problems accident, and that’s when the same friend came in and he said, You said, You know, this really turned out rate. You know, Too bad you don’t do this for a living. And that’s what got me on the track to decide. Okay, maybe I should look at me. Why don’t I do this for a living? I really love this. And I went back to school to become a landscape designer and went, Got my degree, opened up my business. And here I am today

spk_2:   40:31
praise the Lord Heidi and makes me think

spk_1:   40:33
of the verse in Hebrews that says this hope we have as an anchor of the soul both Sure, instead, fast that God has given you that anger. That is a perfect That is the perfect first cause.

spk_0:   40:49
Anchor in my yard

spk_1:   40:50
is just exactly that. It gives us hope. Heidi, thank you so much for sharing your beautiful story. Thank you. Make here is your ps some experts about our guest? Are you ready for some questions?

spk_0:   41:07
Yes, I am.

spk_2:   41:08
I know your family plays games. Can you tell us about the coffee world of games?

spk_0:   41:14
He play a lot of card gains. Most recently my son Spencer and my daughter Larissa have energy systems. Some really complicated games, but they’re super fun. Pandemic or terror forming Mars and then the traditional, I think silence. His favorite is Monopoly.

spk_2:   41:34
And I know we’ve been to, Ah, Christmas Party or Teoh Ripa Ron Exciting Food Fest Party at the coffees and on we just played Pandemic the other day, Jordan brought it on the way home from POC. Crazy, right in the middle of our content. Pandemic times A favorite childhood

spk_0:   41:53
memory. I was the first grandchild on both sides of my family, and my mom’s younger sisters were teenagers at the time, so I got a lot of attention

spk_3:   42:05
from them. One of

spk_0:   42:08
the fun memories I have is now this is back before they were any by laws or anything, but I my aunt would put me in the basket of her bike and and ride me around town to all her friends house. So that was fun.

spk_2:   42:26
This you’re like Toto and you’re a little too okay a superpower you wish you had.

spk_0:   42:34
Okay, so my son asks me this like every week, and then he and then he tells me Oh, but you can’t say this That we’re this list. The this, you know, anything that I’ve mentioned before. But I I wish I wish that I was better out was I wish I always knew the right thing to say or do in that way, If anyone asked me a question, I could give them the right answer. You know, with the exact advice. If they mean we’re always, like that would be really cool.

spk_2:   43:04
Yeah, that would be right if you could. Time travel. When and where would you go?

spk_0:   43:11
Is I could time travel. Um well, I know I would love to visit the national parks, so that would be kind of fun to just two immediately arrive at any of the parks and go on a quick tour of all

spk_3:   43:28
of them.

spk_2:   43:30
No. No fires, no Sturgis motorcycles. No traffic for summer. We’ve done a lot of road trips. Go favorite you Time activity.

spk_0:   43:41
I loved work in the garden with no time constraints.

spk_2:   43:45
Can you give us three design or garden tooks?

spk_0:   43:48
When you get plants, plant them in odd numbers like you to have one specimen plant. We just kind of like a one that you want. People look at or by in groups of three or five at a time. Don’t just buy like a whole yard full of single plant. Consider large boulders as your garden gem and fine, please. For them being in the Pacific Northwest Northwest. Embrace the loss in your lawn. It’s just always gonna be around. And the only way to not have it is to constantly be putting chemicals on it. I know I have a lot of clients that would love to get rid of the moss, but but they don’t want to use chemicals, so just learn to embrace it.

spk_2:   44:33
Well, I guess you could just buy some moss and clumps of three or five. What have you learned about having your own business?

spk_0:   44:43
For sure? Don’t panic, I felt like, and I still do at times, but especially the 1st 5 years, that I was kind of going forward blindly and just learning as I went along. Just don’t panic. Just keep your you’ll get it. And people are usually pretty patient work. You there your things out. Another thing is how to get no parliament and to listen to what they want and then to articulate it back to them to make sure you’re here in one. And then also, I want to be professional over with mean time. Try to put clients at ease and let them know that they’re valued and that what they think matters and is important.

spk_2:   45:22
I have to say, How do you are so encouraging to Mike and me through the whole process? Because we had never really done that before. And you’re so kind and thoughtful and you listen to us so well and you gave us ideas. It was really a beautiful process for us. What’s your website? Can you say what your website is? In case anyone listening would love to seek out your services are

spk_0:   45:48
Yeah, it’s coffee grounds. Garden design dot com

spk_2:   45:53
Thank you. Any parenting advice you would give? Since you have so many lovely Children?

spk_0:   46:01
The greatest advice I think I could give is to take every opportunity to make a memory.

spk_2:   46:07
That’s great. How have you gotten to minister to others As a result of all that you went through?

spk_0:   46:12
Um, I’ve spoken at several retreats and on local and national television. Um, the message of forgiveness hope enjoying the midst of tragedy has really struck a chord with many people. I would get letters from people that I know and from strangers as well from throughout the world. It’s really it was really amazing. The story of this accident that happened here in a little state of Washington with actually make now international moves. That was the Holy Spirit. And I just feel like I’m a regular person. And the only thing special about me is that Christ lives in me. You know, everyone has something difficult toe walk through, and I want them to know that there’s hope in a, like, lived with Barnes

spk_2:   47:06
what helped you through your most difficult times and that awful year.

spk_0:   47:11
Yeah, I would say first informal, strong relationship with the Lord Being involved with the church was a literal God. Send people reach out to me in ways I would never have thought part of and also my kids and family. And I wanted to set a good example for them and provide for them, which meant that I couldn’t just give him himself pity and give up. I did to be there for them as well.

spk_2:   47:42
What was not helpful during that time.

spk_0:   47:46
I think this was totally unintentional, and I’m sure probably people didn’t even realize that they were doing it. But if you and I will say only a few people distanced themselves from me, and I think it’s just because my whole status and change I was no longer married. I was no longer a wife, and I was a single parent now. And so, Um, and I stopped home schooling, and so some groups stopped including me in their social activities. But in the large scope of things that was a minority of people. And I guess I would advise people who are dealing with a person who has lost a spouse to keep in mind that a part of that person’s identity has been stripped away. My favorite job was being a wife, and when I lost Gavin, I lost that job. So I felt kind of displaced. So I guess to keep that in mind when dealing with someone who was lost, someone close to them,

spk_2:   48:48
You said You got to share your story in many local and national new stations. What was that process like? Is there anything people who don’t get to do that would want to know about that or how that works.

spk_0:   49:01
Yes, that was a very unique experience for me because I hadn’t ever really been on TV much before that I got to meet several of the local news reporters that I see on TV. Even now, watch up and by

spk_3:   49:15
killing and I remember

spk_0:   49:16
talking with them. I wonder if they even remember who I am now. But I found out that when national Story is being filmed, the news syndicate, like NBC or CBS, will hire local cameramen or people to come and film an interview a person so they would set up. They would come and set up a camera at my home and then sit across from me and have me look at them like I was talking to them. But the real reporter would be speaking to me over the phone, and I was never supposed to look directly at the camera. Whoa, that was that was a big known up. Never look at the camera. So? So the camera, the camera man would have everything set up, and then he would sit in front of me and he’d be like, noddy ing and like, you know, everything I said is like, really important to him, but I’d be actually listening to this phone. It’s kind of fun.

spk_2:   50:09
So it wasn’t awkward or unnatural. It’ll right, Heidi, what would you want to say to the fellow who was involved in the accident in his family?

spk_0:   50:22
The grandfather who was the owner of the construction company whose truck lost its load, actually lives only a few minutes away from me. And I know the heaviness of the guilt and remorse that they had was almost more than what could be born. So I would just want them to know that they could have peace and continued continued hope for life through Christ. That was kind of why I made them. That little quilt is That’s what I did want them to know is that they could still have a life you shouldn’t give up on life. They should go forward and continue to live life to the fullest that they could

spk_2:   51:01
hiding any versus that you really hold on to.

spk_0:   51:04
So I found comfort in Psalm 71 it was and still is a prayer for my life. And so, uh, a few verses from that are and if you just imagine this is what I would pray. Um as for me, I will always have hope. I will praise you more and

spk_3:   51:25
more. My well, well of righteous deeds of

spk_0:   51:29
your snooping acts all day long So I’m not know how to relate them all. I will come and proclaim your mighty acts Sovereign Lord and I will proclaim your righteous deeds yours alone Since my youth God, you have taught me And this thing I declaring them are marvelous deeds. Even when I’m old and gray. Do not forsake me, my God, till I declare your power to the next generation We’re hiding. Act to all who are to come. Your righteousness reaches

spk_3:   51:59
to the heavens. You have done great things. It

spk_0:   52:03
was like you God. So your mom Easy travel troubles many and bidder. You will restore my life again from the depths of the earth will bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once more So I would say probably those last two verses are really the ones that would resonate over and over with me.

spk_2:   52:25
So good. What did you love about Gavin? What do you want? Your kids to know share anything that you want that’s on your heart tidy.

spk_3:   52:34
Well, one thing Gavin wasn’t

spk_0:   52:38
especially in front of kids, and that’s why kids just loved him. I wouldn’t say that Gavin had a great singing voice. Okay, well, problem was singing to their hearts, you know, to their the fullness of their heart. Along with him, um, he had taught some worship workshops, and after one of his workshops, a woman left so encourage, and she said, I just had to laugh. She said if he could leave worship with his voice and style and get kids and adults excited about worshiping the Lord, God can use anyone well, anyway, Gavin have a great quality about making people feel comfortable, and he could talk about almost any subject and engage others and conversation many people. When when he died, I felt like he was their best friend, and that was really sweet. He would look for new faces on Sunday mornings and make a point of greeting them and driving them to our home partnership, and later I found out that when people were sharing about why they were coming to our church that time and again it was because Gavin made a point of coming up and talking with them and making them feel seeing and welcomed, and then they would keep coming. Gavin was not bond of camping, but he loved his wife, me and his family. And since I love camping and it was an inexpensive get away. When you have a large family, he determined in himself, toe like it as well. And I just love that about him and for Mother’s Day. He always indulge me and we went camping, attend and Mother’s Day and many of the camping areas air free because the season hasn’t really started yet by them. So it was great. He was super good about this. Who would make an object lesson out of the most mundane things that happened throughout any of our days that we would never make to use as a spiritual object lesson? Then he could bring it up and talk to kids about it or adults, and here’s like, Wow, you know, how did I miss that in my own day? You know, how many opportunities am I missing in my own day to see the Lord at work and that just always amazed me.

spk_2:   55:09
Are any of those qualities that you remember in Gavin Do you see any of those in your kids?

spk_0:   55:15
Absolutely. Yes, definitely. My son Torrent is super grated like a the object lesson thing. He is great at making connections like that. Yeah, and Marissa is pretty is very creative minded. Natalia is she really is a great before, And I really feel like that was a gift. Gavin hand that white people just endeared themselves to him because he could listen and talked in on Italians Really good about that. And then Silas is so super funny because he, you know, never actually met his dad that I’ve seen qualities about him come up, he decides with compassion for people. No, I don’t think that that’s a little sweet thing. And then, um, Spencer just has a heart for the Lord that I know. Gavin would be super glad to see Spencer’s heart for the Lord and his heart for knowledge and want to learn.

spk_2:   56:15
Speaking of your amazing kiddos, what do you love about each of your kids and your granddaughter?

spk_0:   56:22
So I’ll start with my oldest daughter, Larissa. She’s 26 years old and works it over Link, hasn’t you? Honor And I love her sense of adventure and creativity. She loves to laugh and enjoy people. She is super inspiring to me to try new moves and not put off adventures to just embrace adventures whenever I can. On Italia’s Next. She’s 24 I love how Natalia sets a goal and then accomplishes it so she can decide I’m gonna learn how to paint. And then she paints is beautiful. She made me this beautiful calendar in exact style of this woman that she was inspired by. She’s super determined and thoughtful. She has a sense about what a person might need. She works for the home good division at Zulily, and she encourages me not to give up on something that’s important to me and to do it with style because she has a lot of style. Yeah, and then Spencer, he’s 22. He recently got married to a beautiful woman in Kennedy, and they have a lovely daughter named Harley Rolen. Uh, what I love about Spencer is his heart. He desires to follow the Lord and honor his family. He was generous with his friends when they need help. He would dive into books that would further his knowledge on a subject that he was interested in. He inspires me to learn more about what whatever it is I am interested in. Torrent is 19 and going to Western Washington University. What I love about Toren is his heart for the Lord, and he is also really good at reaching out to people and setting them at ease, just like Gavin used to do. And one of his best qualities that I admire is his gift. To be able to laugh at himself and find humor in everyday situations as well is constantly looking at ways to build his character and learn new skills. So he inspires me to not take myself too seriously. And Silas is now 13 and he’s going to middle school. One of the move things I love about him is his heart to grow as a person and in his relationship with the Lord. We have a lot of great conversations about what’s on his mind and heart, and he’s a great host, and he inspires me with his ability to face tough situations head on and then my little granddaughter hardly is the sweetest granddaughter in the world. Of course, I can say that cause she’s my only granddaughter right now, but I have to admit that there is something about her that just makes people heart melt, that she lives in California for my heart breaks that I

spk_3:   59:22
can’t more often, but we facetime well, that’s good.

spk_2:   59:27
She is so pretty. I love all of the the coffee kids, all the ones that I know What is your favorite book of the Bible? And what

spk_0:   59:37
the first book that comes to mind is the book of Ruth and I Love her character and the multiple layers of the theme of redemption throughout her whole story. She’s an example of how just living a life for the Lord impacts people around her in significant ways.

spk_2:   59:57
What character or person in the Bible do you most admire or relate to?

spk_0:   1:0:03
I really love Daniel, and the reason why is again. He’s a person who lived for

spk_1:   1:0:10
the Lord and he touched many lives, especially in government. Both Daniel and Roof were very humble, and the Lord used them in mighty ways, and I just love that This wraps up another story of how our great God is at work in our hearts and in our world. To find out more about this podcast Goto letters from home podcast dot com and follow letters from home on Instagram, where there will be pictures of Heidi and her family and her business will be listed in the show. Notes. Second, Corinthians 33 and you show that you are a letter from Christ delivered by us, right and not with ink but with the spirit of the living god, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.